I want to kick some ass with Alex Cross!

Anything having to do with the written word has always fascinated me.  I love it.  English is a breeze for me.  Words are like air to me.  English is like breathing.  I’ve never had a problem with it.  I aced every English and literary class consistently throughout each grade and level of schooling I took.  So naturally, reading is a great love of mine.

What I like about books is there is no judgement.  You know the old saying, “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover?”  Well, the saying is correct.  Books, unless non-fiction, cannot be deemed right or wrong.  No one can tell you how, where, when, and who to write a book to and for.  Characters, places, events and themes are all made up as you go along, or they can be carefully planned out.  The point is: it doesn’t matter.  There is no set time, place, or person to impress.  (I know there are writers out there who do it for a living and obviously have to impress to make a living, but I’m sure you can comprehend the point I’m trying to make.)  I’m definitely beyond jealous of these people.  Incredibly jealous.  Reading and writing is a huge passion of mine.

Currently, I am on a tremendous James Patterson kick, reading the Alex Cross series.  Why has no one EVER told me about these in the past?!  And more to the point: how did these slip by me?!  Reading, writing, and gross disgusting crime scene blood and guts and rolled into one?!  Now that is more like it.  That is me ALL. THE. WAY.  Someone get James Patterson on the phone.  I want to meet him.  Now.  He is my hero.  I want to kick some ass with Alex Cross!

I just finished Double Cross and I am just starting Cross Country.  I have read all of his books, starting from Along Came a Spider and Kiss the Girls, all the way up to Cross Country in just a few short weeks on my kindle touch.  I seriously can’t put them down – when I find them time to read!  When I have some time to myself, that is what I find myself doing, sitting down holding my kindle.  I don’t go anywhere without my kindle and my phone.  I won’t go upstairs or downstairs in my own house without it; I won’t leave the house without it; I’ve become addicted, all thanks to Mr. Patterson.  He is like a drug.  He feeds my addiction to disgusting crime scene stuff through the use of my passion of words.  What a powerful combination.  He knows how to get to me.  Good job, James.  Good job.

I feel like I’m floating!

Is anyone else out there on Lyrica?!

I am, and let me tell you – it’s CRAZY awesome.

I have lower back problems as a result of a c-section gone bad.  So the doctors have tried to put me on all kinds of pain medicines…pain medicines, muscle relaxers, steroids, anti-inflammatory medicines.  None of which helped – none.  So the last time I went to the doctor, I got put on Lyrica, which is a medicine for nerve pain.  And let me tell you, it’s the best medicine in the world.

I asked my doctor to put me on something that wasn’t addicting.  I’m only 28, and have horrible back pain, and I’ll be on something for the rest of my life it looks like.  I didn’t want to be put on a medicine that I’d become addicted to and couldn’t live without.

Soooo…after trying millions of things, we found Lyrica.  And then I found my heaven.  Ahhhhh…

Every night I can’t wait to take it.  So much for it not being addicting like the doctor told me!  It’s freaking crazy amazing!  I am in love with it.  I’m in love with my doctor for giving it to me!  And she’s an old woman and I think I’d marry her now!  She finally found something that helps my back pain…6 months after it started!  Holy crap I’m in love.

The first time I took it, I was laying in bed with Hubby.  We watch TV for awhile each night in bed before we go to sleep, kind of to wind down from the day together.  It’s actually my favorite time of the day, I’ve told him that so many times.  It’s our quiet time.  No kids, no work for him, no anything.  Just me and him.  It’s awesome.  But I took it, and when it hit me, I looked at him and said, “I feel like I’m floating!”  And that’s the last thing I remember.  Then I was out.

That’s another thing I LOVE about it.  I have the worst problems sleeping.  Not anymore!  I haven’t had one problem going to sleep since I started taking this miracle pill.  It puts me right out.  But still gives me the ability to wake up with the baby if and when I need to.  It’s the best invention ever!

Anyway…anyone else out there on lyrica?  Does it make you float around like it does me?  I got up at 5am with the baby, after taking 2 last night, and I was literally walking sideways.  I couldn’t walk straight, I probably looked like a drunk ass climbing out of bed.  I walked down the stairs, made a bottle for the baby and went back up and rocked her while I fed her.  I don’t think I felt anything I was doing.  But I wasn’t in pain!  And I can still control my body, which is the weird thing.  I can control it, but I can’t feel it.  It’s pretty awesome.

Pretty freaking amazing.

Today sucked a big fat one.

Well, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: today sucked a big fat one.  I definitely didn’t have the most pleasant of days.

I immediately woke up in a crappy mood.  Thankfully, Baby Girl slept all night!  It’s a miracle!  It’s been a long time since she has slept good.  She’s not sleeping well anymore, and it gets on my nerves.  But thankfully, last night she did.  And thankfully, I just put her down to bed.

I haven’t felt good all day either.  I woke up and had a slight tickle in my throat, and all day it’s just gotten worse.  It started out as tolerable, then went to bothering me, then went to man I think I’m getting sick, to holy hell my throat is on fire and I’m swallowing razor blades.  My wonderful sister (aka Best Friend) brought me Glory Days for lunch (yum sauce!) but I couldn’t even really eat much because it was all burning my throat.  And the whole time she was here I felt like I was being a complete a-hole, even though I wasn’t meaning to.  I really just didn’t feel good.  And it was showing in my attitude.  The best part about it was the fact that she completely understands and I’m sure she didn’t care that I was a big ol’ moody bitch.  Love you Best Friend!

The kids got off the school bus and Boy didn’t have any homework (I completely lucked out there because I don’t think I had the patience for it – at all!)  Then we went to Best Friend’s house after Big Girl did her homework, because Boy had counseling today for his OCD/anxiety.  We hang out there for awhile, I organize her pantry after she gives me a wonderful vicodin for my throat, and then I leave to take Boy to counseling.  I talk to the counselor for awhile, only to learn she thinks I need counseling myself…

What a wonderful surprise.  I need treatment for my OCD behaviors as well.  And I don’t think it’s a ploy to make money, because she can’t treat me, so I know it’s not to put money in her pocket.

Then after his appointment, I head back to Best Friend’s house to pick up the girls, who she kept (wonderful, isn’t she?!) and Ex texts me on my way there and says he’s on his way to my house to pick up the kids.  So I rush getting the kids home from Best Friend’s house.  Only to come home and wait another hour and a half for him to get here…so on a night that’s not mine with the kids (so I’m not prepared to fix dinner) I had to make them dinner.  Believe me, I don’t mind doing this, but I didn’t have anything out…so it just added to my bad mood.  Then I had to give them both showers because it was 7:15 and he still wasn’t here.  When they’re at my house, bed time is anywhere between 7:30-8pm.  Whenever I can manage to get everything done and get them in bed.  So when it was 7:15 he wasn’t here, I threw them in the shower, one at a time, and gave them the quickest showers ever – just in case he showed up while I was doing it.

He finally left at around 7:30 with the kids.  He has a 30 minute drive home.  No wonder they’re so tired when the sleep at his house.

After they left, I fed Baby Girl, then took her upstairs and gave her a bath.  Then I fed her a bottle and put her in her crib.  She moaned and talked for a bit, but I believe she finally feel asleep because it’s been awhile since I’ve heard any noise at all coming out of the monitor.  All I hear right now are the loud ass snores from our huge bulldog as he sleeps on the couch.

The hubby just called and he’s finally on his way home from work…thank God.  I really need him to be home now.  He will make my whole day better…the grossness and bad day with just melt away as he walks through the door.  God really knows what he’s doing because he couldn’t have put me with anyone better.  That husband of mine is the most amazing, perfect man in the entire world for me.  Thanks again God for all you’ve given me when it comes to Hubby (well everything else too, of course) but with that man, I already feel like I’m in heaven.

Wow, already my day is looking up…

I get to spend tonight with the love of my life.  And I get to spend tomorrow couponing.  LOVE.

 

It’s the only Bryan Adams song I don’t like.

I have the best friend known to man.  I honestly don’t think anyone else in the world has a best friend like I do.  Thankfully, she is also my sister.  Well, my sister-in-law, she married my brother.  But whatever – she’s my sister.

We are so much alike it’s scary.  We get asked all the time if we are sisters.  I really think it pisses my brother off.  The poor guy.  Everyone comments on how his sister and his wife are exactly the same.  Poor fella.

So today, Best Friend calls me and says she really wants Chili’s for lunch.  I tell her I don’t feel like it.  She says Friend Test.  That means I have to go.  Crap sauce.

So I go, and while we are sitting at the booth, we hear Bryan Adam’s song, Summer of ’69.  All of a sudden I say, “I don’t like this song.”  And she asks why not.  I say, “I don’t know, but it’s the only Bryan Adam’s song I don’t like.”  We both busted out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.  That’s because it was.

If you know us, everything that we do and say creates the biggest laughter in the world.  We can have our own conversation, in plain English mind you, and no one else in the world can understand what we’re talking about because of our language.  We comment on random ass things, we each have our own trains that run through our head, we quote Friends and Cougar Town all the time.  We have our own language, including random things like:  Harsh truth, wine up, pound grape, friend test, Bert, we add sauce to the end of anything; we over exaggerate, we laugh: A LOT.  If anyone could ever read our texts, they’d think we were:

a) crazy

b) funny (if they could figure it out)

c) needing to be institutionalized

Neither one of us are very smart.  Well, book smarts we have, but common sense smart we lack.  And I don’t think it’s always been that way.  But Mommy Brain after 3 kids each has affected us both so much.  It really surprises me how neither one of us falls down more during the day.  I don’t know how we get where we’re going half the time.  She got lost following a line of cars – to her own house.  I asked what “OR” stood for; even though it was just the word ‘or’ in capital letters.  She couldn’t get her key out of  the ignition, only to find out the van was still in drive and not in park.  I lost my key to the van, and found it on my front step outside.  I hide things from my kids and can’t even find them again.  I could keep going, but I eventually need to go to sleep tonight.

I love my best friend because I know no matter what is going on, she will be by my side in heartbeat if I need her.  I wouldn’t even have to say Friend Test, and I know she’d be there.  But thankfully, if I ever need something that she doesn’t want to do, all I have to do is say Friend Test and she has to do it anyway.  That’s what Friend Test is all about: seeing what they’ll do for you even when they don’t want to.  Just like I had to go to lunch today, even though I didn’t want to.  She Friend Tested me.  So I had to go.

We make it a point to talk to each other daily.  We keep in constant contact through endless phone calls and test messages.  We make each other bust out laughing through a text.  Or even through just one word.  Or a look.  My husband gets irritated a lot because it’s texts from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed.  He says we scare him sometimes, and that we’re too much alike it’s scary.  He loves her to death and she loves him to death, and thank God, because not only did he marry me, he married her as well.  My brother stays in Afghanistan for 3/4 of the year, so she’s left without a husband here.  So I make him be her husband too.

I told Best Friend that we need to start a blog of our own adventures together.  It would definitely be comedic.  We once lived together; I don’t know how we ever made it out alive.  We set the microwave on fire.  We never had clean clothes.  You couldn’t walk through our house.  Damn we’ve come such a long way.  I’m so proud of us.  Harsh truth Best Friend: I LOVE YOU!!!!!

You’re crazy…crazy about you…no just plain crazy!

“You’re CRAZY!”

I have to laugh.  My husband just yelled that (lovingly – don’t worry!) at me!  I said, “Crazy about you!”  He said, “no, just plain crazy!”

These statements came after I ran and jumped onto the bed, jumped on top of him and squeezed the hell out of him.  Then I started playfully humping his leg like a dog, laughing my ass off to the point I started snorting.  I had tears streaming out of my face.  The funniest thing is, he’s so modest and shy.  And me, well…if you’ve read my other posts, or you know me, I think you pretty much know I’m the exact opposite.  I’m so very not shy.  I will speak my mind; I will hump your leg if I get real excited about something.  That’s just what I do.  Actually, it’s what my best friend and I do…I know she’s out there reading this laughing her ass off right now.  She knows what humping the air or humping a leg is all about.  But she is a whole post for another day…I can’t wait to talk about her!  She is the other love of my life.

Back to the subject of this post…

My husband thinks I’m the weirdest person he knows.  I dance, frolic, and skip around the house a lot when he’s around.  I can’t help it.  Literally, he makes me just ooze happiness.  I’ve never in my life been around someone who makes me as happy as he does.  I can’t even describe it; except to say that he literally drives me crazy (but in a good way!).

I can have the absolute worst day of my life, and be in tears and just wanting to crawl into a ball in our huge comfy bed; but when he gets home from work, it slowly dissolves away.  I can honestly feel the anger and irateness and the helplessness just melt off me.  I feel like it’s so obvious that if you could actually see the feelings, you would see the red oozing out of me onto the floor behind me, just dripping, melting, going away.  Or you would see clouds of red puffing out of me, leaving, and you’d see me once again looking calm, at peace, and most of all, happy.

We got married incredibly quick.  We’ve known each other for years, but we were always just friends.  He said he loved me way before I even knew his name (although I think he’s full of shit and just trying to score some brownie points with me).  I always trusted him, felt safe around him, and felt I could confide in him.  I think we had an amazing bond from the moment we met.  It just never blossomed into anything because I was in a relationship at the time.  But I really felt connected to him in a strange way.  He was safe.  It made me safe.  He made me safe, even when we weren’t together and we were just friends.  He’s my safe house.  He’s my bomb shelter.  He’s my light house.  He’s my kicking post at times – poor guy married a crazy bitch.  But he’s my rock.  He’s my angel.  I really believe he was sent here to save me.  After him, my whole life turned around.  I went from being a train wreck of a person to being the ultimate mother and wife I can be.  He makes me want to strive to be a better person, to make everyone around me happy, to make the world better.  He makes me feel like I could rule the world.

Needless to say, after all he has done for me, for our family, for our life and future together, there is no way I could ever repay him.  He is my soul mate.  I try everyday to make him as happy as he makes me.  I tell him how much I love him all the time.  I thank God for putting him in my life everyday.

And what makes me the happiest:  I get to keep him.  Forever.  And that to me is bliss.  That’s my heaven.

Hubby, if you ever learn how to find my blog, I have something to tell you…

Baby, I love you.  Thank you.