What I do? Really? Are you kidding me?!

You want a little bit of information on me?  That’s a loaded question.  Be careful handing me a loaded gun asking such things!  Shame on you…people should know better!  Don’t ask such hard questions to such busy-headed minds!  So, where to start?

So I just had to submit a short bio for something, and it went a little something like this…

Hi!  My name is _________.  I’m a full-time mother of three children (8, almost 7, and 1 1/2).  I am a full-time wife, chef, housekeeper, dry cleaner (minus the ironing), chauffeur, homework specialist, zookeeper, circus ringleader, plate twirler, veterinarian to a stinky English bulldog, school chaperone, school volunteer, and most importantly a juggler of anything important, incredibly valuable and extremely breakable, or just a juggler of all things at one time (things you can’t actually juggle).  On the side, I go to school part time to finish my degree, I coach my daughter’s soccer team, while attending all of my son’s soccer practices and games as well, and maintaining all of his social anxiety/OCD therapy sessions on a weekly and bi-monthly schedule at two-different places.  Also, I have an ex-husband to throw into the mix.  And my current husband works a lot.  If I’m lucky, we get him home on a Sunday, mostly we get Tuesday.  Seeing that I get absolutely no time to myself, my venting is blogging.  A lot of it may seem negative, but I’m not a negative person.  That’s just my only outlet.  It’s my only escape – I can’t yell at my kids, my husband or the dog when I have a bad day.  So it goes into the computer.  

I feel like that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what I do!  HA!  🙂  Thanks to you fellow readers that stick with it through it all!

 

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Yep, this happens around here.

Just as I think my life can’t get anymore circus-like. I walk into the kitchen, and find this on my floor:

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And yes, that is what you think it is. Men, you are probably turning your heads sideways and squinting and wondering what in the hell that is. Women, you know. It is a tampon. And don’t freak. It is still sanitary. Unused. Just unwrapped. By my lovely one-and-a-half year old who is a tricky little monster. She is a little magician, daredevil, and monkey all rolled into one. She gets into things (i.e.: tampons!) if you are not watching her EVERY second of EVERY day!) Need a bathroom break? Forget it! Don’t even think about it. Plan it around her nap time.

She doesn’t feel a tremendous amount of pain; or if she does, she doesn’t care about it too much. Let me tell you, she keeps me on my toes!

She’s a climber of the outside of our banister staircase, our couch, the dining room chairs, the ottoman (from which she then jumps onto the couch), the dog, her potty seat, etc. Basically anything low enough for her to climb on top of, and then she either jumps off of, or gets stuck on and then cries until I help get her down.

The best part: everyday is a new adventure! (Gotta look on the bright side, folks!) What the hell am I saying?! Every f’ing thirty seconds is a new escapade with this child. She’s the last kid. My other two never kept me on my toes as much as she does. She is definitely the hardest kid I’ve had to deal with. I’m so glad Hubby got the snip last month. Woo-hoo!

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But how can you resist this face?! I can’t help but to love her and all of her devilish, monstrous, devious, crazy ways. I mean, she is her mother’s child…correct?

It’s been a VERY long time!

Wow it’s been a seriously long time!  I just looked at my last post.  June 2012.  That was 9-10 months ago.  I am terrible.  Wow.  What a loser I am!

Things have definitely changed a lot since then!  Wow have they changed!  Life has gotten a lot – if you can believe this – CRAZIER!

I know that is the last word you were probably expecting.  Me, using the word crazy – really?!  Ha, it’s only my personal motto.  If we were like cartoons and had clouds floating above our heads with one word in it describing our personalities, mine cloud would definitely SHOUT “CRAZY!!!!!”

But that’s the fun part.  You never know what crazy you’re going to get!  Ha!  My poor hubby.  But he loves me so.  And thank God for him.  He truly is a blessing.  He’s a Godsend.  What a life that man has given us.  I thank God for him.  He’s an angel.  Love that man more than life.

Back to the story, things have changed so much.  We moved into a bigger house.

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The new house!

Also, we got a much longer custody with the big kids than we had before.

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The big kiddos in the snow 🙂

All of these things have happened to be way better life improvements!  Definitely amazing ones to say the least.  Also in there, we started a new school year, had Thanksgiving, Christmas during which time we were moving.  Yep, we tackled moving over the busiest time of the year.  That was fun.  But it was also a blessing to be in the new house and host, yes host, Thanksgiving in our new house for the first time ever, and have Christmas in the new house.  It was glorious.

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Christmas in the new house.

It finally feels like this crazy life is starting to fall into place.  I mean, things are still crazy as hell all around, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, no would I?!  Crazy is my middle name, isn’t it?

As crazy as it is, I’d love to start posting more.  I will be on the computer more now, as I will be starting to go back to school to finish up my degree.  I have an AA in Liberal Arts, but I’m going back for a bachelor’s degree, finally!  That’s right, crazy is growing up!  Well, crazy is a grown up, but crazy is going to finally act like it!  (Well…maybe.)

Kindle Craziness!

WOW it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything.  It’s just been crazy.  The end of the school year, broken bones, all kinds of trips with the kids, new animals added to the household (a beautiful new Calico cat named Daisy).  It’s just been a wild and crazy time.  3 kids and me leaves me no time at all to do much of anything for myself.

The newest craze in my house with my kids is their kindles.  Thank goodness.  I love to be able to say that my kids new craze isn’t a video game.  Or anything wacky or stupid that’ll get them hurt.  I already have a kid with a broken bone.  Boy broke his finger and boy was that the biggest ordeal of the year so far.  That was the craziest week of my life for a long time.

The whole craze started when I started reading books on my iBooks on my iPad, and Best Friend was reading books on her hubby’s (who also happen’s to be my brother!) kindle touch.  We were talking about the differences between the two over the phone in conversations, then through text as well all the time.  She bragged about the kindle touch a lot, and to me it sounded unbelievable, but as I told her and Hubby, I just couldn’t imagine spending the money on an e-reader when I had iBooks on my iPad.  But then…

We came face-to-face when the kindle touch and the iBooks on the iPad.  And I was sold.  I bought my kindle touch that day.  Literally as soon as I got home I ordered it.  And of course, Brother, who always has the best things (I so hope he read that, because if he did, he rolled his eyes and said “whatever”), had the best case in the world for his kindle touch too.  It comes with a light at the top that you can pull out, and it runs off the battery of the kindle.  (The battery also lasts for months apparently if you keep the wi-fi turned off.)  So I also ordered the same case.  Duh, why wouldn’t I?!

And once again, I’m addicted.  This time, to my Kindle Touch.

Then the mistake came.  My kids saw it.  Big Girl, who is the biggest reader I’ve ever met of a child, wanted one.  And me being the mother I am, of course wanted to buy her one immediately.  And Hubby said, “go ahead, if there’s a kid that deserves one, it’s her.”  She came home from school this year, finishing first grade, with a perfect report card for not only the last semester, but the entire year, and her reading teacher wrote that she was reading consistently at a 3rd grade level at this time.  When we are at home, she walks around reading.  She takes books in the car.  She reads her self to sleep at night.  She takes books everywhere.  She definitely does deserve one.  And I’m so proud of her!  So I told her all of that.  We told her how proud of her we were, and that we ordered her one.  The joy that overcame her face was enough to know right then and there that the decision was right.  She was so happy.

Then came the problem.  How do we tell boy that he wasn’t getting one and she was?

So hers came yesterday.  She opened it.  He got mad.  Of course.

I sat him down and talked to him, and started explaining to him why we got Big Girl one and not him.  I said, “We got Big Girl one because she came home with a perfect report card and her teacher said she was reading at third grade level, and we are very proud of her.”

His response: “Well, I had a perfect report card all year too, Mom.  And I learned to read this year.”

Man down.  And that man was me.

How the f do you come back from that?  So instead of discouraging his reading efforts, I decided to order him one, against my better judgement. But after all, he is right.  If that’s the standard I was going on, my 5-year-old son was smart enough to point it out, and I wasn’t smart enough to see it myself.  How could I not know he wouldn’t understand and get mad?

So, I got on Amazon and ordered Boy one.  But I had a huge talk with him.  I told him if he didn’t use it, and I didn’t see him trying to learn how to read better and making a big effort to read, I would sell it to someone else that loves to read.  I told him he didn’t need one just because me and Big Girl have one.  But I also want to encourage both my kids to read, the love it, and anything I can do to help, I will.  And if this is something that will help him, I’m all for it.  If not, I’m sure the thing will sell for a decent amount and I won’t lose too much money (staying positive!).

So that’s what’s going on at our house nowadays…

We leave for the beach in less than 2 weeks, we will be going to Water Country tomorrow (I hope).  And in the mean time, there will always be the Kindle Touch…

Man, I suck.

I suck so bad at this blog.  I’m no good at keeping up with it.  So if you follow me, thanks.  But I apologize for being a slack ass.

It is so hard for me to find the time to write.  It’s hard for me to find the time to do anything now actually.  I feel like I’m constantly doing something, even in my sleep I’m waking up for the baby.  It’s crazy.  There’s no time for myself.  No time to write, no time to do my school work, no time to read or hang out with a friend, nothing.

I just put the baby down for a nap and the big kids are outside with their friends riding their bikes and playing in the dirt.  I’m trying to rush through this blog so I can finish cleaning and the other ten million things I need to do in the twenty short minutes the baby naps.  Which annoys the piss out of me.  She’s a cat napper.  I wish she took long naps.  But nope, about twenty to thirty damn minutes.  That’s it.  Just enough time for me to start something and not be able to finish it.  Yay me!  (Not.)

We have been having fun though.  The kids are on spring break right now, which started today.  So Big Girl had her best friend sleep over last night.  I made banana muffins for breakfast this morning, and they loved that.  I also boiled eggs the other day so they could dye them today.  They had an absolute blast doing that today!  And they turned out so cute.  I love having the kids do stuff like this.  Even though it’s messy, it’s so worth it.  It makes them so happy, I could care less how messy it is.

This little boy is the most important boy in my life.  I love him so much!  He told me today he’s never going to get married.  He’s going to live with me forever.  He will get a job and he will only leave me to go to work, then he will always come home to me at night.  But he said “Don’t worry Mommy, I will go sell cars for Hubby.” (my hubby is the GM of a dealership)   Then he pinkie promised me he’d never leave me.  He is my heart.  I love this kid so much.

Big Girl is on the right.  Big Girl’s best friend is on the left.  She’s like my other daughter.  I absolutely love having her here.  It actually makes things easier having four kids than three.  I think it’s because she keeps Big Girl occupied and out of my butt completely for the entire day.  If we are home all day and Big Girl has no friends over, she is constantly up my ass following me around wondering what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, reading my texts, my computer, my books, whatever is in my hand.  She has to know everything that is going on, no matter what it is, who’s it is, and why it is what it is.  But she will never just go play.  She is always bored and says she has nothing to do.  Even though she has basically ever toy under the sun.  Literally.  Last year for Christmas, Hubby spoiled the shit out of them and bought the entire toy section of Walmart and Target almost.  And what they didn’t get at Christmas, they get constantly throughout the year.  They’re the most spoiled kids.  If we go to the store, they get something.  I need to start saying no.  I just can’t – look at those sweet faces 🙂

Oh wow, I think Baby Girl finally cried herself to sleep.  Now to get up and actually get stuff done…

 

Last freakin’ week was a BUMMER!

What a freakin’ week I had last week.  It was a BUMMER.

Sunday 3/18/2012:

It started off with a phone call from my momma last weekend bright and early in the morning, “I’m heading to Baltimore.  Your cousin Brian committed suicide.”

Of course, the first words out of my mouth were, “Do I need to come up there?”

No, no I don’t, she tells me.  I don’t have to go.  They don’t know what’s happening yet.  They don’t know yet if there’s even going to be a funeral.  It all is still fresh, she doesn’t know much else, but she’s heading to Baltimore as soon as my aunt came in from Richmond.  They were riding together to head to Baltimore to hold my other aunt’s hand.  Poor woman.  I couldn’t imagine.  Her only son.  She is the one that found him hanging there, too.  I don’t know what I would’ve done.  But I do believe she’s braver than I am.  I don’t know that I’d still be walking if I were in that situation.

Tuesday night 3/20/2012:

(Hysterical sobbing coming through the front door)  “Ummm, she fell.”  Says one of neighborhood kids.

My poor Big Girl.  Bloody, messy road rash from around her eyebrow bone down to her chin.  Mouth pouring blood.  Hobbling on one leg.  Knee pouring blood too.  Wonderful.

The hysterical crying goes on for a good thirty minutes.  I can’t see inside her mouth, all I can tell is the pouring blood won’t stop.  And she won’t let me look in there.  But all I can see is blood spewing out.

I call the dentist.  Of course, they’re closed.  Thankfully, their wonderful pediatric dentist has her cell phone on the answering machine in case of an emergency.  I called her.  She says she’d meet me tonight, or wait until the morning.  Finally, I get her to calm down.  I choose morning after talking to the dentist and getting Big Girl calmed down.

Big Girl of course, won’t eat dinner.  Won’t take a shower.  Won’t brush her teeth.

So of course, Boy doesn’t want to do any of it either.

Finally: bed time.

Wednesday 3/21/2012:

12:05AM – (puke, puke, puke) (cry, cry, cry) (puke, puke, puke) (cry, cry, cry)

Holy hell.

My son has just exorcist puked everywhere.  All over his bed, all down his bed, all over himself.  All over his floor, all around his room, and all over the bathroom, toilet, and floor.  So disgusting.

This has been the best six hours of my life.  (As I roll my eyes…)

I finally get him cleaned up.  And the floor.  And his bed stripped of bedding.  And the bathroom cleaned.  And a load of laundry started.  Then he wants to sleep with me.  No f’ing way.  Are you kidding me?!  Puke Pants McGee?  In my bed?  I don’t f’ing think so.  Instead I say, “You can sleep on my floor buddy, right beside me, ok?  I’ll make you a little bed.”

He nods like it’s the best thing on earth!  Both my big children love to sleep on the floor (this I don’t understand, but they do it all the time! – by choice!)  So I make him a bed on the ground.  I think I fall back asleep finally around 1:30am maybe – maybe.

2Am –  I hear little feet racing across my bathroom floor.  Then I hear puke.  Here we go again.

3AM – Puke.

4AM – Puke.

5AM – Puke.  And more puke.

6AM – Puke.

7AM – Puke.

8AM – Puke.  Headed to dentist with Big Girl.

9AM – Thankfully, from what the x-ray shows, Big Girl only chipped a tooth.  But, from how swollen her mouth is, dentist can’t see much else.  She won’t do anything until next appointment.  Until then, good luck.  See you next week.  Great :/

3:15PM – Doctor with all 3 kids, for Boy.  Strep test.  Negative – thank God.  Even though Big Girl just had strep.  Woo hoo!   Just a stomach bug. Gross.

Thursday 3/22/2012

Big Girl stayed home.  Forced Boy to go to school.  No fever, no pukes.  But we missed the bus.  So I drive him.  Still have Big Girl home.  She kinda gets on my nerves all day.  She’s bored with being home for the second day in a row.  I had to pack for me, my hubby, and Baby Girl to head to Maryland for the night.  Big kids went to their dad’s after school so we could head to Maryland for the viewing and funeral.

8PM – Arrived at hotel in Maryland.

8:20PM – Left for funeral home for the viewing.

Friday 3/24/2012

11AM – Funeral for my cousin.  Who was about six months older than I was.  That’s it.  He was born only six months earlier than I was.  And he took his own life.  We grew up together.  It makes me so sad.  And mad that he could do that to his family.  To his children.  To his mother.  And sisters.  And the rest of his friends and family.  And everyone dealing with the fallout of it.  He got to escape the pain, all the while pushing it onto others.  It’s selfish really.

3PM – Finally heading home.  DC traffic on a Friday?  Gross.

7PM – Finally home.  Paradise.  Hubby and I talk about how wonderful it is to be at home.  What a great life we have together.  How magical it is to be home.

Praying for a better week…

WE WERE ATTACKED!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WERE ATTACKED!!!!!!

The leprechaun got us.  Last night.  While we slept.  Apparently he (or she – or they – who knows) wanted to play some tricks on us.

I was feeling like more of a Happy Momma last night than a Crazy Momma, so I made the kids some aahhhhhhmmmmmazzzing (in case you couldn’t read that through my obvious drool on the screen – it was ‘amazing’) red velvet cupcakes last night for dessert.  Holy freakin’ moly.  Yum sauce.  Y-U-M S-A-U-C-E.  Holy buttsauce were those freaking fantastic.  Oh how lovely it is to be a fat kid now.

(side note:  I so want to lose my baby weight, but I also so love to eat what I eat.)

Back to the story…

The green short fella.  He decided he was going to push a chair over to the counter to help himself up there.  Then he iced my cupcakes, which I didn’t do, he put shamrocks and sprinkles on them, then he even ate one!  Can you imagine?!  Oh, and he did the worst thing EVER!!!!!

HE.  MADE.  A….

MESS.

That’s right.  He made a mess.  He spilled the sprinkles on the counter.  This did not sit well with my children.  Especially Boy with his OCD.  He said, “he was BAD Mommy, BAD!  He made a mess!  He was so BAD!”

Then after I made them breakfast this morning and I went to pour them lemonade, I opened up the fridge and guess what we found?!?

That damn little green devil.  He turned our lemonade green.  What a bastard.

Then, this is what happens to my children after we find out he visits our house:

And that’s why he visits.  This made their day.  Their week.  Hell, this made their next couple weeks, maybe even month or two.  They’ll be talking about this forever.  Until the next cool and fun thing comes along.  They’ve talked about it all day, a million times.  They’ve been so extraordinarily excited about it all day, telling everyone!  They’ve been the happiest kids!

So that’s why he visited our house.  To make two beautiful children happy!

Then we had this little beauty enjoying the beautiful weather all day today!  We played outside all day.  My son learned to ride his bike without training wheels – now both children officially ride without them – scary!!!  Ahhh….We had such an amazing day outside enjoying the beautiful weather.  It was perfect.  Not too hot, not cold at all…it was all just right.  A perfect day.  Blessed with perfect weather with my beautiful children.

How lucky am I?!?!?

 

 

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me…

Well, I haven’t written in awhile.  Thankfully, my Aunt Seashell wrote today (check out her awesome blog here) about how she hasn’t written in awhile either, and it made me feel not so bad.  I’ve been battling the sickness back and forth with my kiddos.  My Big Girl and my Baby Girl both have been sick since last week.  And gross sick.  Big Girl has had strep for almost a week.  We found out last night her first antibiotic isn’t working.  She’s still running a 101 fever.  So today we were able to start antibiotic number two.  Hopefully this one helps.  So after almost a week with strep, she is also barking like a seal now when she coughs.  She had a field trip today at school, which she missed, because she couldn’t even go to school, due to the fever she was running – once again – this morning.

Baby Girl has been sick on and off since last week too.  She got real sick last week and was seen by the doctor.  They strep tested her on Friday after they found out Big Girl had strep, but Baby Girl’s came back as negative (woo hoo!).  The doctor said her disgustingness was likely due to either teething or a cold, either way, he couldn’t give her medicine due to the fact that she was only six months and had no signs of infection.  That was Friday.  Saturday and Sunday she took a turn for the worse.  Then of course Monday, she got miraculously better.  Today, again, worse.

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me.  I feel like someone is wondering when I’m going to give up, wondering how much more I can take or something.  It feels like someone is doing this on purpose.  It’s literally like one thing after another, with nothing going away, even with antibiotics, things are getting worse and not better.

Here it is, two in the afternoon, and I’m finally sitting down for the first time today.  I’ve done so much stupid work around the house.  I still have so much stupid work to do.  I still have sick children.  I have a boy coming home from school in an hour.  I have a husband with a super sale at work this week, meaning I’ll barely see him at all this week (I hate these sales because I never see him! But I do wish him the best of luck!), plus I have a TON of school work to get done…but what do I feel like doing?  Napping, couponing, catching up on the thousands of tv shows on my dvr…oh man how that would be WONDERFUL!!!!!  To not go fold laundry, to not go vacuum, sweep, mop, or clean bathrooms…any of it.  Oh the life I could dream about.

What am I talking about though?  This is the life I always dreamt about.  I’ve got it pretty damn good.  Even with sick kids and a hubby working hard all week.  At least I have a hard-working hubby and beautiful kids I actually care about taking care of when they’re sick.  And at least I have a house I can clean and clothes to put on our children’s backs.  That’s the good life.

Strep throat sucks.

My poor sweet big girl has strep throat 😦  And the amazing trooper she is – she asked to go to school this morning!

She loves school.  And she never wants to miss a single day.  Last year in kindergarten, she didn’t miss a single day.  This year, she’s missed about three days I think.  And she’s hated every day of it.  Even on a day that she has had strep throat, she wanted to go to school.  What an amazing little girl!

Unfortunately this morning, Baby Girl woke up sick too.  Thankfully I have an awesome friend that works at the doctor’s office I take the kids too, and she helped me out today.  She took Big Girl back and ran her strep test, and it came back positive before we even had to see the doctor. So because Big Girl didn’t have to see the doctor, my friend switched the appointments for the girls, and got Baby Girl in to see the doctor instead of Big Girl.  He wanted to get her strep tested because her throat was red and Big Girl’s test came back positive.

Thank God Baby Girl’s test came back negative.  I can’t have two girls with strep throat at the same time…that’s just not going to be fun at all.  I’m really hoping that Boy doesn’t get it.  Or me.  Or Hubby.

Strep throat sucks.

Holy banana sauce!

Got my hair did today.

Just kidding.  I seriously don’t talk like that.  But I really did go get my hair done today.  And I’m in love with the color.  I get my hair highlighted blonde.  It had been since October since I had it done.  And my hair grows super fast.  So the brown was half way down my head.  And my hair was so long, it was about half way down my back.  A little lower than my bra strap.

Now it’s blonde (from the roots! – holy crap!) and it’s way short.  It’s just below my shoulders.  So now it looks so much healthier!  I blow dry and straighten it just about everyday, because I have absolutely disgusting natural hair.  I like nothing about it.  The color, texture, and kinky nastiness of it drives me nuts.  It’s really wavy, but not curly; but frizzy and not nice waves.  If I let it air dry, it’s bigger than a house and if I blow dry it without straightening it, it’s bigger than an afro.  I have gross disgusting hair.  But when I blow dry and straighten it, I can seriously mask the disgustingness of my head.  And make it look pretty.  Oh the wonders of hair technology!

My day started off not so good though.  I had two tired ass older kids.  Then I showered while the baby napped this morning.  When she woke up, I gave her a bath and got her dressed.  As soon as I was done and we started walking out of the room, she puked all over herself and her clothes.  And my arm.  And the floor.  And her diaper bag I had just freaking packed.  It was absolutely awful and disgusting.  And smelled horrible.  (GAG!)

Unfortunately, I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to throw her back in the tub.  I had a hair appointment!  Thankfully it only got on her clothes and I was able to just change her and it got all the puke off her.  Then I got all the kids in the car and headed off to my mom’s house, dropped them off, and ….

… (                         ) …

Know what that is?!  Peace and quiet.

There was no noise.  No yelling.  No fighting.  No whining.  No “Mommy!”  No anything…

Peace and quiet.

Peace and quiet.

Holy banana sauce.

Peace and quiet.

(Until my hair appointment was done anyway.)