Monkey Poo Flinging Day

Holy freakin’  moly.  It’s a “I need want to pop a Xanax and wash it down with a triple shot of Patron margarita” day.  Ha.  If only.  Right?  If only death wasn’t the result.

What the hell is going on today?  Everyone is driving me insane!  Everyone.  Literally.

The baby won’t stop crying.  She’s sitting in my lap as I’m typing, because if I put her down, the flood gates open.  She’s only happy in my lap.  Other than that, all hell breaks loose.

Boy got off the bus being in a mood.  This has been a great, fun afternoon with him.  Let me tell you what.  He decided in order for his homework to be done, he needed to sharpen his pencil in our automatic pencil sharpener.  So he sticks the pencil in, lets it twirl around and around, and he dances all around the office while this is happening.  Meanwhile, the pencil is not being sharpened, just twirling around and around, and is making that horrific grinding sound.  You know, the one you can just feel down to your bone?  Yeah, that one.  It goes on and on for about ten minutes straight.  I finally decide to walk in there and see what is going on and try to navigate him out of there and back towards his homework.  Only, I get to the office a second too late.  Baby Girl got there first.  And of course, Boy didn’t like that.  He slammed her hand in the office door.  Nice big brother, right?  Just what I was thinking.  So that set off the wailing sirens again.  Fun times, I’ll tell ya!

After I finally get him settled back into his seat and start to work on homework, he then pulls out his portraits from his backpack from their spring pictures they had taken at school and received today to bring home.  Big Girl tries to look at his, and he looses all control.  He looks like a gorilla with big swinging arms trying to collect them all before she can sneak a peek at the face she sees everyday.  Big ol’ Donkey Kong making grunting noises, trying to prevent his sister from seeing a picture of his mug, which turns into another fight.  I   They start batting and swinging a little, hit and miss, pencils in hand.  I may as well just have monkeys running around flinging poo at each other.  I feel like that’s what is happening anyway.  At least I may have a shot at someone listening.  The monkeys may actually listen better to me than my own children.  There’s a pretty good chance of that, actually.

After the homework battle is finally complete, we move on to the battle of the Baby Girl.  She is just walking around and around crying and crying.  Why you ask?  Why am I not holding her?  Comforting her?  Seeing what is wrong?  Oh believe me, I have.  I’ve done it all.  She’s fed.  She’s been changed.  She’s healthy.  She’s not teething.  She’s 110% happy – as long as she’s in my arms.  She is so spoiled rotten.  She will be crying so hard you’d think she needs to go to the emergency room because she looks like she has a broken bone, and then Mommy picks her up, and she’s giggling so hard and she’s so happy!  What an actress she is.  She has such a brilliant personality at a year-and-a-half old already.  I can’t stand the fact that I have to face this for the next sixteen years or so.  I have a feeling she’ll outwit me a time or two.  This one seems pretty good…I may have met my match…

And that, my friends, is quite the scary thought.

Thankfully, I have a great hubby coming to the rescue.  He’s bringing home dinner.  Yep, we’re cheating tonight.  Cheating together!  With food.  He’s bringing home takeout from one of our favorite places to eat.  Good old Glory Days.

Yum. Sauce.

Yep, this happens around here.

Just as I think my life can’t get anymore circus-like. I walk into the kitchen, and find this on my floor:

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And yes, that is what you think it is. Men, you are probably turning your heads sideways and squinting and wondering what in the hell that is. Women, you know. It is a tampon. And don’t freak. It is still sanitary. Unused. Just unwrapped. By my lovely one-and-a-half year old who is a tricky little monster. She is a little magician, daredevil, and monkey all rolled into one. She gets into things (i.e.: tampons!) if you are not watching her EVERY second of EVERY day!) Need a bathroom break? Forget it! Don’t even think about it. Plan it around her nap time.

She doesn’t feel a tremendous amount of pain; or if she does, she doesn’t care about it too much. Let me tell you, she keeps me on my toes!

She’s a climber of the outside of our banister staircase, our couch, the dining room chairs, the ottoman (from which she then jumps onto the couch), the dog, her potty seat, etc. Basically anything low enough for her to climb on top of, and then she either jumps off of, or gets stuck on and then cries until I help get her down.

The best part: everyday is a new adventure! (Gotta look on the bright side, folks!) What the hell am I saying?! Every f’ing thirty seconds is a new escapade with this child. She’s the last kid. My other two never kept me on my toes as much as she does. She is definitely the hardest kid I’ve had to deal with. I’m so glad Hubby got the snip last month. Woo-hoo!

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But how can you resist this face?! I can’t help but to love her and all of her devilish, monstrous, devious, crazy ways. I mean, she is her mother’s child…correct?

It’s been a VERY long time!

Wow it’s been a seriously long time!  I just looked at my last post.  June 2012.  That was 9-10 months ago.  I am terrible.  Wow.  What a loser I am!

Things have definitely changed a lot since then!  Wow have they changed!  Life has gotten a lot – if you can believe this – CRAZIER!

I know that is the last word you were probably expecting.  Me, using the word crazy – really?!  Ha, it’s only my personal motto.  If we were like cartoons and had clouds floating above our heads with one word in it describing our personalities, mine cloud would definitely SHOUT “CRAZY!!!!!”

But that’s the fun part.  You never know what crazy you’re going to get!  Ha!  My poor hubby.  But he loves me so.  And thank God for him.  He truly is a blessing.  He’s a Godsend.  What a life that man has given us.  I thank God for him.  He’s an angel.  Love that man more than life.

Back to the story, things have changed so much.  We moved into a bigger house.

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The new house!

Also, we got a much longer custody with the big kids than we had before.

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The big kiddos in the snow 🙂

All of these things have happened to be way better life improvements!  Definitely amazing ones to say the least.  Also in there, we started a new school year, had Thanksgiving, Christmas during which time we were moving.  Yep, we tackled moving over the busiest time of the year.  That was fun.  But it was also a blessing to be in the new house and host, yes host, Thanksgiving in our new house for the first time ever, and have Christmas in the new house.  It was glorious.

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Christmas in the new house.

It finally feels like this crazy life is starting to fall into place.  I mean, things are still crazy as hell all around, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, no would I?!  Crazy is my middle name, isn’t it?

As crazy as it is, I’d love to start posting more.  I will be on the computer more now, as I will be starting to go back to school to finish up my degree.  I have an AA in Liberal Arts, but I’m going back for a bachelor’s degree, finally!  That’s right, crazy is growing up!  Well, crazy is a grown up, but crazy is going to finally act like it!  (Well…maybe.)

Man, I suck.

I suck so bad at this blog.  I’m no good at keeping up with it.  So if you follow me, thanks.  But I apologize for being a slack ass.

It is so hard for me to find the time to write.  It’s hard for me to find the time to do anything now actually.  I feel like I’m constantly doing something, even in my sleep I’m waking up for the baby.  It’s crazy.  There’s no time for myself.  No time to write, no time to do my school work, no time to read or hang out with a friend, nothing.

I just put the baby down for a nap and the big kids are outside with their friends riding their bikes and playing in the dirt.  I’m trying to rush through this blog so I can finish cleaning and the other ten million things I need to do in the twenty short minutes the baby naps.  Which annoys the piss out of me.  She’s a cat napper.  I wish she took long naps.  But nope, about twenty to thirty damn minutes.  That’s it.  Just enough time for me to start something and not be able to finish it.  Yay me!  (Not.)

We have been having fun though.  The kids are on spring break right now, which started today.  So Big Girl had her best friend sleep over last night.  I made banana muffins for breakfast this morning, and they loved that.  I also boiled eggs the other day so they could dye them today.  They had an absolute blast doing that today!  And they turned out so cute.  I love having the kids do stuff like this.  Even though it’s messy, it’s so worth it.  It makes them so happy, I could care less how messy it is.

This little boy is the most important boy in my life.  I love him so much!  He told me today he’s never going to get married.  He’s going to live with me forever.  He will get a job and he will only leave me to go to work, then he will always come home to me at night.  But he said “Don’t worry Mommy, I will go sell cars for Hubby.” (my hubby is the GM of a dealership)   Then he pinkie promised me he’d never leave me.  He is my heart.  I love this kid so much.

Big Girl is on the right.  Big Girl’s best friend is on the left.  She’s like my other daughter.  I absolutely love having her here.  It actually makes things easier having four kids than three.  I think it’s because she keeps Big Girl occupied and out of my butt completely for the entire day.  If we are home all day and Big Girl has no friends over, she is constantly up my ass following me around wondering what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, reading my texts, my computer, my books, whatever is in my hand.  She has to know everything that is going on, no matter what it is, who’s it is, and why it is what it is.  But she will never just go play.  She is always bored and says she has nothing to do.  Even though she has basically ever toy under the sun.  Literally.  Last year for Christmas, Hubby spoiled the shit out of them and bought the entire toy section of Walmart and Target almost.  And what they didn’t get at Christmas, they get constantly throughout the year.  They’re the most spoiled kids.  If we go to the store, they get something.  I need to start saying no.  I just can’t – look at those sweet faces 🙂

Oh wow, I think Baby Girl finally cried herself to sleep.  Now to get up and actually get stuff done…

 

Last freakin’ week was a BUMMER!

What a freakin’ week I had last week.  It was a BUMMER.

Sunday 3/18/2012:

It started off with a phone call from my momma last weekend bright and early in the morning, “I’m heading to Baltimore.  Your cousin Brian committed suicide.”

Of course, the first words out of my mouth were, “Do I need to come up there?”

No, no I don’t, she tells me.  I don’t have to go.  They don’t know what’s happening yet.  They don’t know yet if there’s even going to be a funeral.  It all is still fresh, she doesn’t know much else, but she’s heading to Baltimore as soon as my aunt came in from Richmond.  They were riding together to head to Baltimore to hold my other aunt’s hand.  Poor woman.  I couldn’t imagine.  Her only son.  She is the one that found him hanging there, too.  I don’t know what I would’ve done.  But I do believe she’s braver than I am.  I don’t know that I’d still be walking if I were in that situation.

Tuesday night 3/20/2012:

(Hysterical sobbing coming through the front door)  “Ummm, she fell.”  Says one of neighborhood kids.

My poor Big Girl.  Bloody, messy road rash from around her eyebrow bone down to her chin.  Mouth pouring blood.  Hobbling on one leg.  Knee pouring blood too.  Wonderful.

The hysterical crying goes on for a good thirty minutes.  I can’t see inside her mouth, all I can tell is the pouring blood won’t stop.  And she won’t let me look in there.  But all I can see is blood spewing out.

I call the dentist.  Of course, they’re closed.  Thankfully, their wonderful pediatric dentist has her cell phone on the answering machine in case of an emergency.  I called her.  She says she’d meet me tonight, or wait until the morning.  Finally, I get her to calm down.  I choose morning after talking to the dentist and getting Big Girl calmed down.

Big Girl of course, won’t eat dinner.  Won’t take a shower.  Won’t brush her teeth.

So of course, Boy doesn’t want to do any of it either.

Finally: bed time.

Wednesday 3/21/2012:

12:05AM – (puke, puke, puke) (cry, cry, cry) (puke, puke, puke) (cry, cry, cry)

Holy hell.

My son has just exorcist puked everywhere.  All over his bed, all down his bed, all over himself.  All over his floor, all around his room, and all over the bathroom, toilet, and floor.  So disgusting.

This has been the best six hours of my life.  (As I roll my eyes…)

I finally get him cleaned up.  And the floor.  And his bed stripped of bedding.  And the bathroom cleaned.  And a load of laundry started.  Then he wants to sleep with me.  No f’ing way.  Are you kidding me?!  Puke Pants McGee?  In my bed?  I don’t f’ing think so.  Instead I say, “You can sleep on my floor buddy, right beside me, ok?  I’ll make you a little bed.”

He nods like it’s the best thing on earth!  Both my big children love to sleep on the floor (this I don’t understand, but they do it all the time! – by choice!)  So I make him a bed on the ground.  I think I fall back asleep finally around 1:30am maybe – maybe.

2Am –  I hear little feet racing across my bathroom floor.  Then I hear puke.  Here we go again.

3AM – Puke.

4AM – Puke.

5AM – Puke.  And more puke.

6AM – Puke.

7AM – Puke.

8AM – Puke.  Headed to dentist with Big Girl.

9AM – Thankfully, from what the x-ray shows, Big Girl only chipped a tooth.  But, from how swollen her mouth is, dentist can’t see much else.  She won’t do anything until next appointment.  Until then, good luck.  See you next week.  Great :/

3:15PM – Doctor with all 3 kids, for Boy.  Strep test.  Negative – thank God.  Even though Big Girl just had strep.  Woo hoo!   Just a stomach bug. Gross.

Thursday 3/22/2012

Big Girl stayed home.  Forced Boy to go to school.  No fever, no pukes.  But we missed the bus.  So I drive him.  Still have Big Girl home.  She kinda gets on my nerves all day.  She’s bored with being home for the second day in a row.  I had to pack for me, my hubby, and Baby Girl to head to Maryland for the night.  Big kids went to their dad’s after school so we could head to Maryland for the viewing and funeral.

8PM – Arrived at hotel in Maryland.

8:20PM – Left for funeral home for the viewing.

Friday 3/24/2012

11AM – Funeral for my cousin.  Who was about six months older than I was.  That’s it.  He was born only six months earlier than I was.  And he took his own life.  We grew up together.  It makes me so sad.  And mad that he could do that to his family.  To his children.  To his mother.  And sisters.  And the rest of his friends and family.  And everyone dealing with the fallout of it.  He got to escape the pain, all the while pushing it onto others.  It’s selfish really.

3PM – Finally heading home.  DC traffic on a Friday?  Gross.

7PM – Finally home.  Paradise.  Hubby and I talk about how wonderful it is to be at home.  What a great life we have together.  How magical it is to be home.

Praying for a better week…

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me…

Well, I haven’t written in awhile.  Thankfully, my Aunt Seashell wrote today (check out her awesome blog here) about how she hasn’t written in awhile either, and it made me feel not so bad.  I’ve been battling the sickness back and forth with my kiddos.  My Big Girl and my Baby Girl both have been sick since last week.  And gross sick.  Big Girl has had strep for almost a week.  We found out last night her first antibiotic isn’t working.  She’s still running a 101 fever.  So today we were able to start antibiotic number two.  Hopefully this one helps.  So after almost a week with strep, she is also barking like a seal now when she coughs.  She had a field trip today at school, which she missed, because she couldn’t even go to school, due to the fever she was running – once again – this morning.

Baby Girl has been sick on and off since last week too.  She got real sick last week and was seen by the doctor.  They strep tested her on Friday after they found out Big Girl had strep, but Baby Girl’s came back as negative (woo hoo!).  The doctor said her disgustingness was likely due to either teething or a cold, either way, he couldn’t give her medicine due to the fact that she was only six months and had no signs of infection.  That was Friday.  Saturday and Sunday she took a turn for the worse.  Then of course Monday, she got miraculously better.  Today, again, worse.

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me.  I feel like someone is wondering when I’m going to give up, wondering how much more I can take or something.  It feels like someone is doing this on purpose.  It’s literally like one thing after another, with nothing going away, even with antibiotics, things are getting worse and not better.

Here it is, two in the afternoon, and I’m finally sitting down for the first time today.  I’ve done so much stupid work around the house.  I still have so much stupid work to do.  I still have sick children.  I have a boy coming home from school in an hour.  I have a husband with a super sale at work this week, meaning I’ll barely see him at all this week (I hate these sales because I never see him! But I do wish him the best of luck!), plus I have a TON of school work to get done…but what do I feel like doing?  Napping, couponing, catching up on the thousands of tv shows on my dvr…oh man how that would be WONDERFUL!!!!!  To not go fold laundry, to not go vacuum, sweep, mop, or clean bathrooms…any of it.  Oh the life I could dream about.

What am I talking about though?  This is the life I always dreamt about.  I’ve got it pretty damn good.  Even with sick kids and a hubby working hard all week.  At least I have a hard-working hubby and beautiful kids I actually care about taking care of when they’re sick.  And at least I have a house I can clean and clothes to put on our children’s backs.  That’s the good life.

Strep throat sucks.

My poor sweet big girl has strep throat 😦  And the amazing trooper she is – she asked to go to school this morning!

She loves school.  And she never wants to miss a single day.  Last year in kindergarten, she didn’t miss a single day.  This year, she’s missed about three days I think.  And she’s hated every day of it.  Even on a day that she has had strep throat, she wanted to go to school.  What an amazing little girl!

Unfortunately this morning, Baby Girl woke up sick too.  Thankfully I have an awesome friend that works at the doctor’s office I take the kids too, and she helped me out today.  She took Big Girl back and ran her strep test, and it came back positive before we even had to see the doctor. So because Big Girl didn’t have to see the doctor, my friend switched the appointments for the girls, and got Baby Girl in to see the doctor instead of Big Girl.  He wanted to get her strep tested because her throat was red and Big Girl’s test came back positive.

Thank God Baby Girl’s test came back negative.  I can’t have two girls with strep throat at the same time…that’s just not going to be fun at all.  I’m really hoping that Boy doesn’t get it.  Or me.  Or Hubby.

Strep throat sucks.

Stop this Evil Bastard!!!

I am so thankful to the creator of the KONY 2012 You Tube video.

I can’t imagine my children being ripped from our home in the middle of the night.  I can’t imagine living in fear that someone would steal them to arm them with guns so they can force my children to kill me.  And then rape my girls.  Disgusting.  Absolutely disgusting.  Joseph Kony needs some action taken against him.  He’s done it to over 300,000 children.  And I’m pretty sure his time is coming.

The US has sent troops over to help the army of Uganda out to find him and get him to stop doing these hideous crimes.  He found out of our journey over there to help, changed his ways, and now is invisible.  He can’t be found.  And time is running out for the US troops to be there.

The video asks that we be the change of the world.  It asks you go to the website to sign a pledge to get the government to take action to keep the troops there longer, not only for the children there, but for the world.  They fear that if we fail and pull out, he will retaliate with a bigger, stronger army.  That seems scary to me.

So go.  Sign it.  I did.

April 20th they’re asking the people of the world to cover the entire world with his name.  Kony posters, banners, flyers, anything that says Kony 2012, so that when everyone else wakes up the morning of April 21st, the entire world will know the name of Joseph Kony and what he is doing.  I don’t think we will have to wait until then.  I think the world will know before then.  And thank God.

The hubby and I watched this tonight.  It is awful.  Please take the time to watch it.  It’s so important.

Once again, click here.

Watch it, sign it.  Change the world.

It’s new coupon day!

Well, I think I’m sick.

Just in time for the big kids to be here all week all the time.  (I share custody with my ex, week-on/week-off.  On his weeks, theyr’e only here from when they get off the bus until about 6pm or so. Luckily, I got the good end of the deal.  I still see them everyday but 4 days a month.  That’s pretty damn good if you ask me.)

Anyway…it’s my week with them full time.  And I started getting sick last night.  All of a sudden, my nose became a faucet.  Out of nowhere. I didn’t feel sick until it hit me.  And then I felt miserable, immediately.  Then this morning, I woke up and my nose wasn’t running, but my throat was hurting bad.  Then as I started doing the laundry and reaching into the washer and dryer, my nose started pouring out snot.  Now, I’m back to my nose being completely stopped up and having a sore throat.

I think I’m sick from not sleeping at all for awhile.  Baby Girl is teething so bad.  And that means no sleep for her.  Or for me.  It’s been a miserable couple nights.  And then it turns into a miserable couple days…

I’m sick and exhausted.  Not my favorite pairing of two things.

On a lighter, better note, it’s Sunday.  That means it’s new coupon day.  Woo hoo!

On another bad note, my hubby’s stupid work has started opening on Sundays now.  It was the only day of the week they were actually closed.  Now, it’s open.  And as the general manager, Hubby has to be there 😦  I miss him.  A lot.  Sunday, which was my favorite day of the week, has actually turned into a day I hate.

Although sick and tired, and sad about missing Hubby, at least I get to see my three beautiful babies.  And my new coupons.  And my handsome Hubby when he gets home.  I’m looking forward to tonight.  Everyone pray the baby sleeps, so I can too.

I feel like I’m floating!

Is anyone else out there on Lyrica?!

I am, and let me tell you – it’s CRAZY awesome.

I have lower back problems as a result of a c-section gone bad.  So the doctors have tried to put me on all kinds of pain medicines…pain medicines, muscle relaxers, steroids, anti-inflammatory medicines.  None of which helped – none.  So the last time I went to the doctor, I got put on Lyrica, which is a medicine for nerve pain.  And let me tell you, it’s the best medicine in the world.

I asked my doctor to put me on something that wasn’t addicting.  I’m only 28, and have horrible back pain, and I’ll be on something for the rest of my life it looks like.  I didn’t want to be put on a medicine that I’d become addicted to and couldn’t live without.

Soooo…after trying millions of things, we found Lyrica.  And then I found my heaven.  Ahhhhh…

Every night I can’t wait to take it.  So much for it not being addicting like the doctor told me!  It’s freaking crazy amazing!  I am in love with it.  I’m in love with my doctor for giving it to me!  And she’s an old woman and I think I’d marry her now!  She finally found something that helps my back pain…6 months after it started!  Holy crap I’m in love.

The first time I took it, I was laying in bed with Hubby.  We watch TV for awhile each night in bed before we go to sleep, kind of to wind down from the day together.  It’s actually my favorite time of the day, I’ve told him that so many times.  It’s our quiet time.  No kids, no work for him, no anything.  Just me and him.  It’s awesome.  But I took it, and when it hit me, I looked at him and said, “I feel like I’m floating!”  And that’s the last thing I remember.  Then I was out.

That’s another thing I LOVE about it.  I have the worst problems sleeping.  Not anymore!  I haven’t had one problem going to sleep since I started taking this miracle pill.  It puts me right out.  But still gives me the ability to wake up with the baby if and when I need to.  It’s the best invention ever!

Anyway…anyone else out there on lyrica?  Does it make you float around like it does me?  I got up at 5am with the baby, after taking 2 last night, and I was literally walking sideways.  I couldn’t walk straight, I probably looked like a drunk ass climbing out of bed.  I walked down the stairs, made a bottle for the baby and went back up and rocked her while I fed her.  I don’t think I felt anything I was doing.  But I wasn’t in pain!  And I can still control my body, which is the weird thing.  I can control it, but I can’t feel it.  It’s pretty awesome.

Pretty freaking amazing.