What I do? Really? Are you kidding me?!

You want a little bit of information on me?  That’s a loaded question.  Be careful handing me a loaded gun asking such things!  Shame on you…people should know better!  Don’t ask such hard questions to such busy-headed minds!  So, where to start?

So I just had to submit a short bio for something, and it went a little something like this…

Hi!  My name is _________.  I’m a full-time mother of three children (8, almost 7, and 1 1/2).  I am a full-time wife, chef, housekeeper, dry cleaner (minus the ironing), chauffeur, homework specialist, zookeeper, circus ringleader, plate twirler, veterinarian to a stinky English bulldog, school chaperone, school volunteer, and most importantly a juggler of anything important, incredibly valuable and extremely breakable, or just a juggler of all things at one time (things you can’t actually juggle).  On the side, I go to school part time to finish my degree, I coach my daughter’s soccer team, while attending all of my son’s soccer practices and games as well, and maintaining all of his social anxiety/OCD therapy sessions on a weekly and bi-monthly schedule at two-different places.  Also, I have an ex-husband to throw into the mix.  And my current husband works a lot.  If I’m lucky, we get him home on a Sunday, mostly we get Tuesday.  Seeing that I get absolutely no time to myself, my venting is blogging.  A lot of it may seem negative, but I’m not a negative person.  That’s just my only outlet.  It’s my only escape – I can’t yell at my kids, my husband or the dog when I have a bad day.  So it goes into the computer.  

I feel like that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what I do!  HA!  🙂  Thanks to you fellow readers that stick with it through it all!

 

Monkey Poo Flinging Day

Holy freakin’  moly.  It’s a “I need want to pop a Xanax and wash it down with a triple shot of Patron margarita” day.  Ha.  If only.  Right?  If only death wasn’t the result.

What the hell is going on today?  Everyone is driving me insane!  Everyone.  Literally.

The baby won’t stop crying.  She’s sitting in my lap as I’m typing, because if I put her down, the flood gates open.  She’s only happy in my lap.  Other than that, all hell breaks loose.

Boy got off the bus being in a mood.  This has been a great, fun afternoon with him.  Let me tell you what.  He decided in order for his homework to be done, he needed to sharpen his pencil in our automatic pencil sharpener.  So he sticks the pencil in, lets it twirl around and around, and he dances all around the office while this is happening.  Meanwhile, the pencil is not being sharpened, just twirling around and around, and is making that horrific grinding sound.  You know, the one you can just feel down to your bone?  Yeah, that one.  It goes on and on for about ten minutes straight.  I finally decide to walk in there and see what is going on and try to navigate him out of there and back towards his homework.  Only, I get to the office a second too late.  Baby Girl got there first.  And of course, Boy didn’t like that.  He slammed her hand in the office door.  Nice big brother, right?  Just what I was thinking.  So that set off the wailing sirens again.  Fun times, I’ll tell ya!

After I finally get him settled back into his seat and start to work on homework, he then pulls out his portraits from his backpack from their spring pictures they had taken at school and received today to bring home.  Big Girl tries to look at his, and he looses all control.  He looks like a gorilla with big swinging arms trying to collect them all before she can sneak a peek at the face she sees everyday.  Big ol’ Donkey Kong making grunting noises, trying to prevent his sister from seeing a picture of his mug, which turns into another fight.  I   They start batting and swinging a little, hit and miss, pencils in hand.  I may as well just have monkeys running around flinging poo at each other.  I feel like that’s what is happening anyway.  At least I may have a shot at someone listening.  The monkeys may actually listen better to me than my own children.  There’s a pretty good chance of that, actually.

After the homework battle is finally complete, we move on to the battle of the Baby Girl.  She is just walking around and around crying and crying.  Why you ask?  Why am I not holding her?  Comforting her?  Seeing what is wrong?  Oh believe me, I have.  I’ve done it all.  She’s fed.  She’s been changed.  She’s healthy.  She’s not teething.  She’s 110% happy – as long as she’s in my arms.  She is so spoiled rotten.  She will be crying so hard you’d think she needs to go to the emergency room because she looks like she has a broken bone, and then Mommy picks her up, and she’s giggling so hard and she’s so happy!  What an actress she is.  She has such a brilliant personality at a year-and-a-half old already.  I can’t stand the fact that I have to face this for the next sixteen years or so.  I have a feeling she’ll outwit me a time or two.  This one seems pretty good…I may have met my match…

And that, my friends, is quite the scary thought.

Thankfully, I have a great hubby coming to the rescue.  He’s bringing home dinner.  Yep, we’re cheating tonight.  Cheating together!  With food.  He’s bringing home takeout from one of our favorite places to eat.  Good old Glory Days.

Yum. Sauce.

Today sucked a big fat one.

Well, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: today sucked a big fat one.  I definitely didn’t have the most pleasant of days.

I immediately woke up in a crappy mood.  Thankfully, Baby Girl slept all night!  It’s a miracle!  It’s been a long time since she has slept good.  She’s not sleeping well anymore, and it gets on my nerves.  But thankfully, last night she did.  And thankfully, I just put her down to bed.

I haven’t felt good all day either.  I woke up and had a slight tickle in my throat, and all day it’s just gotten worse.  It started out as tolerable, then went to bothering me, then went to man I think I’m getting sick, to holy hell my throat is on fire and I’m swallowing razor blades.  My wonderful sister (aka Best Friend) brought me Glory Days for lunch (yum sauce!) but I couldn’t even really eat much because it was all burning my throat.  And the whole time she was here I felt like I was being a complete a-hole, even though I wasn’t meaning to.  I really just didn’t feel good.  And it was showing in my attitude.  The best part about it was the fact that she completely understands and I’m sure she didn’t care that I was a big ol’ moody bitch.  Love you Best Friend!

The kids got off the school bus and Boy didn’t have any homework (I completely lucked out there because I don’t think I had the patience for it – at all!)  Then we went to Best Friend’s house after Big Girl did her homework, because Boy had counseling today for his OCD/anxiety.  We hang out there for awhile, I organize her pantry after she gives me a wonderful vicodin for my throat, and then I leave to take Boy to counseling.  I talk to the counselor for awhile, only to learn she thinks I need counseling myself…

What a wonderful surprise.  I need treatment for my OCD behaviors as well.  And I don’t think it’s a ploy to make money, because she can’t treat me, so I know it’s not to put money in her pocket.

Then after his appointment, I head back to Best Friend’s house to pick up the girls, who she kept (wonderful, isn’t she?!) and Ex texts me on my way there and says he’s on his way to my house to pick up the kids.  So I rush getting the kids home from Best Friend’s house.  Only to come home and wait another hour and a half for him to get here…so on a night that’s not mine with the kids (so I’m not prepared to fix dinner) I had to make them dinner.  Believe me, I don’t mind doing this, but I didn’t have anything out…so it just added to my bad mood.  Then I had to give them both showers because it was 7:15 and he still wasn’t here.  When they’re at my house, bed time is anywhere between 7:30-8pm.  Whenever I can manage to get everything done and get them in bed.  So when it was 7:15 he wasn’t here, I threw them in the shower, one at a time, and gave them the quickest showers ever – just in case he showed up while I was doing it.

He finally left at around 7:30 with the kids.  He has a 30 minute drive home.  No wonder they’re so tired when the sleep at his house.

After they left, I fed Baby Girl, then took her upstairs and gave her a bath.  Then I fed her a bottle and put her in her crib.  She moaned and talked for a bit, but I believe she finally feel asleep because it’s been awhile since I’ve heard any noise at all coming out of the monitor.  All I hear right now are the loud ass snores from our huge bulldog as he sleeps on the couch.

The hubby just called and he’s finally on his way home from work…thank God.  I really need him to be home now.  He will make my whole day better…the grossness and bad day with just melt away as he walks through the door.  God really knows what he’s doing because he couldn’t have put me with anyone better.  That husband of mine is the most amazing, perfect man in the entire world for me.  Thanks again God for all you’ve given me when it comes to Hubby (well everything else too, of course) but with that man, I already feel like I’m in heaven.

Wow, already my day is looking up…

I get to spend tonight with the love of my life.  And I get to spend tomorrow couponing.  LOVE.