I don’t get it.  Spring break?  I don’t think so.  Those two words (put together) are not in the SAHM’s vocabulary.  At least not this SAHM.  No freaking way.  Nope.  Not in the slightest.

My week?  It’s already looking like a little slice of hell served on a dish.  Make that a platter, served by the devil himself.  I’m already dreading it.  This weekend won’t be so bad.  Tonight, my children are doing sleepovers.  I have my niece over spending the night with Big Girl, and they’ll be okay.  But Baby Girl is running a fever of 101.8 last time I checked (pre-Motrin), now she’s down (during Motring), but currently very moody (is it too early for PMS at 19 months old?).  The constant crying if I’m not holding her just adds a little background noise if I get bored, right?

Now, my son…he’s a whole different story himself.  Fresh off the bus, I notice he has on a different pair of pants than I sent him to school in.  And these sweatpants that do not belong to him are extremely over-sized, unbearably ugly and about to fall off his skinny little size tiny body.  Boy is in first grade, is six, and is turning seven this July.  My first thought is, “oh holy hell, he peed his pants at school.  Or worse, he took a dump in them.  WTF.”  So I say, “what happened to your pants, buddy?”  He said, “I just spilled something on my pants at school, that’s all.”  Whew.  What a relief.  At least I don’t have that kid.  You know.  That one.

Then I ask him if he wants to spend the night with his cousin for his birthday.  Let me remind you, Boy has major social anxiety.  He does not bode well in social settings, and his cousin does not attend the same elementary school he does.  So Boy will not know these children his cousin has coming over.  His cousin’s friends are not Boy’s friends.  This will cause a major disruption in Boy’s brain, and cause all kinds of electric currents to go off in his brain and things will be going haywire in there.  Good luck to my brother and his wife. When you flip out because you can’t find Boy because he’s done his normal flipping out and running and hiding, because he can’t handle the pressure of the social scene, odds are, he will be hiding under a bed, in a closet, or behind a piece of furniture.  Good luck to you.  Oh, and tell your sanity good riddance as well.  At least I sent him with his iPod, so he can FaceTime me when he needs to chat.  So, I expect no sleep tonight, because I will be on the phone with him nonstop.  He won’t want to leave, but he won’t want to get off FaceTime with me either.  I’m already smiling from the excitement.  Woo-hoo!  (Enter sarcasm here.)

Oh, here comes Big Girl asking if her friend can spend the night as well.  Yay me!

And did I forget to mention, I’m now the soccer coach for Big Girl’s soccer team?  Yep, yours truly is coaching her U8 soccer team.  And I don’t know one f’ing thing about soccer.  I know your supposed to stay on the field (and I now know it’s called a field, after I called it a court the other day and got told that it definitely was NOT a court – it was a field!) and I know you are supposed to try to kick it into the goal, and not use your hands.  That is the extent of my knowledge of soccer.  Beyond that, I know nothing.  So, good luck to me!  And with my luck, I’m not even starting at a young age, I’m starting where the parents are going to want a competitive coach and the kids probably know a lot, and have been playing for a couple years.  Where we are from, soccer is pretty big (at least in this county).  So I figure I’m going to spend most of my season being yelled at by my parents.  I haven’t gotten a chance to hold practice yet, because we were rained out this past week.  And next week (spring break) I will be out of town on our regularly scheduled practice night, and so will my assistant coach (my sister), so we are moving the practice to Tuesday nights, and the forecast is calling for rain.  Our first game is the following Saturday.  All with no practice it’s looking like.  WINNERS!

Back to spring break.  Here’s how mine is shaping up to be:

Monday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

6pm-7pm: Boy – boy scouts

Tuesday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

5:30pm-7pm: soccer practice (if it doesn’t rain)

Wednesday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

1pm-3pm: Big Girl’s friend’s birthday party

7pm – Maroon 5 concert in DC (and I have floor seats baby!! Best part of the week!  I get to see the man of my dreams Adam Levine!)

Big Girl has a sleepover

Thursday:

8am-8:30am – pick Big Girl up from sleepover

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

Friday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

1pm – Take Big Girl and Baby Girl to my mom

3pm – Boy has psychiatric appointment at UVA (for his social anxiety – he has check-ups every two months)

Big Girl has another sleepover

Saturday:

2pm – Boy has counseling

sometime (haven’t gotten the schedule yet) our first soccer game

Sunday:

Easter – Family gathering – may require either Xanax or drinking.  Probably heavy drinking after the week I’ve had.  Or just a Xanax.  Who knows?  I guess time will tell.

my crazy calendar the week of spring break (and the rest of the month actually!)

my crazy calendar the week of spring break (and the rest of the month actually!)

Anyway, that is how my so-called “Spring Break” is looking – as of today.  I feel like everyday it’s changing, every day something new is happening and my calendar is growing and growing.  I was supposed to be heading to the beach for a relaxing vacation.  Doesn’t look so relaxing, now does it?  But then again, motherhood isn’t relaxing when you have three children ages 7 and under.

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me…

Well, I haven’t written in awhile.  Thankfully, my Aunt Seashell wrote today (check out her awesome blog here) about how she hasn’t written in awhile either, and it made me feel not so bad.  I’ve been battling the sickness back and forth with my kiddos.  My Big Girl and my Baby Girl both have been sick since last week.  And gross sick.  Big Girl has had strep for almost a week.  We found out last night her first antibiotic isn’t working.  She’s still running a 101 fever.  So today we were able to start antibiotic number two.  Hopefully this one helps.  So after almost a week with strep, she is also barking like a seal now when she coughs.  She had a field trip today at school, which she missed, because she couldn’t even go to school, due to the fever she was running – once again – this morning.

Baby Girl has been sick on and off since last week too.  She got real sick last week and was seen by the doctor.  They strep tested her on Friday after they found out Big Girl had strep, but Baby Girl’s came back as negative (woo hoo!).  The doctor said her disgustingness was likely due to either teething or a cold, either way, he couldn’t give her medicine due to the fact that she was only six months and had no signs of infection.  That was Friday.  Saturday and Sunday she took a turn for the worse.  Then of course Monday, she got miraculously better.  Today, again, worse.

I feel like someone is playing a mean trick on me.  I feel like someone is wondering when I’m going to give up, wondering how much more I can take or something.  It feels like someone is doing this on purpose.  It’s literally like one thing after another, with nothing going away, even with antibiotics, things are getting worse and not better.

Here it is, two in the afternoon, and I’m finally sitting down for the first time today.  I’ve done so much stupid work around the house.  I still have so much stupid work to do.  I still have sick children.  I have a boy coming home from school in an hour.  I have a husband with a super sale at work this week, meaning I’ll barely see him at all this week (I hate these sales because I never see him! But I do wish him the best of luck!), plus I have a TON of school work to get done…but what do I feel like doing?  Napping, couponing, catching up on the thousands of tv shows on my dvr…oh man how that would be WONDERFUL!!!!!  To not go fold laundry, to not go vacuum, sweep, mop, or clean bathrooms…any of it.  Oh the life I could dream about.

What am I talking about though?  This is the life I always dreamt about.  I’ve got it pretty damn good.  Even with sick kids and a hubby working hard all week.  At least I have a hard-working hubby and beautiful kids I actually care about taking care of when they’re sick.  And at least I have a house I can clean and clothes to put on our children’s backs.  That’s the good life.