What I do? Really? Are you kidding me?!

You want a little bit of information on me?  That’s a loaded question.  Be careful handing me a loaded gun asking such things!  Shame on you…people should know better!  Don’t ask such hard questions to such busy-headed minds!  So, where to start?

So I just had to submit a short bio for something, and it went a little something like this…

Hi!  My name is _________.  I’m a full-time mother of three children (8, almost 7, and 1 1/2).  I am a full-time wife, chef, housekeeper, dry cleaner (minus the ironing), chauffeur, homework specialist, zookeeper, circus ringleader, plate twirler, veterinarian to a stinky English bulldog, school chaperone, school volunteer, and most importantly a juggler of anything important, incredibly valuable and extremely breakable, or just a juggler of all things at one time (things you can’t actually juggle).  On the side, I go to school part time to finish my degree, I coach my daughter’s soccer team, while attending all of my son’s soccer practices and games as well, and maintaining all of his social anxiety/OCD therapy sessions on a weekly and bi-monthly schedule at two-different places.  Also, I have an ex-husband to throw into the mix.  And my current husband works a lot.  If I’m lucky, we get him home on a Sunday, mostly we get Tuesday.  Seeing that I get absolutely no time to myself, my venting is blogging.  A lot of it may seem negative, but I’m not a negative person.  That’s just my only outlet.  It’s my only escape – I can’t yell at my kids, my husband or the dog when I have a bad day.  So it goes into the computer.  

I feel like that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what I do!  HA!  🙂  Thanks to you fellow readers that stick with it through it all!

 

I told you I’m an addict!

Well, I’ve done it again.

I went couponing today.  I had to go to the store to get some things, but I used a ton of coupons on a bunch of other things too.  The rule I read when starting to learn to coupon was to forget everything you knew about shopping, because you’ll have to change the way you do it.  You change how and when you shop, along with what you shop for.  You no longer shop for what you want to cook, you cook with what you have shopped for (for free or really cheap!).  And so far, that’s worked for me.  I’ve realized we don’t need what we’ve always had.  New stuff can be fun too.  And we haven’t gone without or even started missing anything – not yet anyway.

Not only did I change what I’m shopping for for us to eat, I’m also changing what the dog eats.  He is an English bulldog that eats absolutely everything in site.  Nothing hurts his stomach.  I’ve said many times I’m surprised he hasn’t died after what he’s eaten.  Including full-size kid footballs – whole.  Without choking.  So I don’t think changing up his food will do much to him.  But we usually pay about $13 for a bag of his food – Pedigree something.  Or maybe Purina something.  I don’t remember.  Instead, I got three bags of Purina Beneful from Target today (priced normally at $5.49 for a 3.5lb bag).  I had $4.50 off coupons for each one.  (Well Target $2 coupons and $2.50 manufacturer coupons which equal $4.50 off a bag.)  So I paid $0.99.  For 3 bags.  I paid $2.97 for what I usually pay $13 for.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

I got all of this for $25.44.  Included was:

3 bags of Purina Beneful dog food

2 Activia yogurt 4-packs

8 Yo-Crunch yogurts

1 Philadelphia Indulgence white chocolate yummy thing I can’t wait to try

1 KY jelly (I got paid to take this out of the store!)

1 Vaseline lotion (I got paid to take this out of the store too!)

24 Breathe Right strips 2-count

1 Starkist tuna pouch

2 Glade air expressions

1 Starbucks coffee – Caramel – yum 🙂

4 Colgate toothpastes

4 Olay soap 2-packs

3 Eggo waffle breakfast boxes

3 Country Crock butters

2 Philadelphia cooking creams

1 Kotex U pack

1 pack of soup

I don’t think that’s too bad for $25.44!  Not when I’m new to the couponing game!  But after only a few weeks of doing this, I’ve noticed I’ve only spent half of what I usually spend a week – over the span of 3 weeks now!  It’s an incredible amount of savings.  I’m so happy I’m taking the time to do this.  It really is making a HUGE difference in the amount of money I spend!  And now I’m actually paying attention to what things cost (when before I was just buying!) and I don’t want to pay full price for a lot of things anymore!  This is the first time in my life I’ve been happy to save money!

It’s an incredible feeling knowing I’m not blowing money at the store anymore.  I don’t feel bad leaving the store anymore either!  I used to walk out and be like “Oh crap!  How on earth did I spend that much money?!”  Now I walk out and I’m like “Damn!  How on earth did I save that much money?!” or “How did I walk out with all this stuff and only spend that amount of money?!”

It really is a good feeling 🙂  – I told you I’m an addict!

That’s what coupons are made for – so take advantage!

A three ring f’ing circus.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not all negative all the time.  I LOVE my life.  I have an amazing life, and I laugh everyday until I cry.  I have it great.  I have the best kids and husband ever.  My dog is okay, but he can be a bastard face a lot of the times.

I just post a lot of negative things on here because this is my outlet.  This is where I vent.  I can’t vent to my kids – obviously – because I’m usually complaining about something they did!  And I’m definitely not going to be that mom that complains to her kids, yells at them, and makes them feel like little pieces of shit, because they definitely don’t deserve that.  They’re amazing.  And they’re actually incredibly well behaved and awesome kids.  I’m so proud of the way they’re turning out.

I just write a lot of negative crap because I can.  I can complain on here.  I can voice my opinion, my thoughts and fears, and announce my irritations to the world.  To anyone besides my kids.  That’s basically what it comes down to.

Now that I’ve said all that…

I’m taking the kids to the movies today to see The Lorax.  I can’t wait.  Know why?  Because they’re so excited they’re driving me f’ing crazy. They’re bouncing off the walls, couches, and everything else they’re not supposed to be doing, because they’re so excited they can’t stand themselves.  Little bastards.  (Just kidding!)  But seriously, everytime I tell them we’re doing something and they get crazy excited, they start becoming maniacs.  I just had to yell at my daughter, who is incredibly well behaved in almost the perfect way, because she was jumping from the coffee table to the couch, and vice versa.  What the f—?  I definitely didn’t raise them to be doing that.  At this time – that’s when I’m grateful for my crazy pills.  Whoever invented them is a freaking genius.  And my new lover.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Sometimes it’s like a three ring f’ing circus around here.  With three kids, who are six, five and six months, and a one-year-old stubborn ass English bulldog, it gets insane.  Like crazy insane.  When one is sick, tired, hyper, in a bad mood…anything ranging from good to bad, everything around here changes dramatically.  Because when one isn’t happy, they piss the other one off on purpose constantly (the big kids).  And when the baby isn’t happy and she’s screaming and crying – no one is happy.  And when the dog gets a wild hair up his ass and becomes that instant asshole that he does randomly – no one is happy – again.

And when the hubster is home and all this craziness is happening, the poor guy goes crazy.  He can’t handle it.  He always says, “and that’s why I go to work.”  And I roll my eyes (in jealously) and wish I had a job at those times.  He’s so lucky he gets away sometimes.  Even though it’s to work.  Poor guy.  Once again – here is my daily chance – Thank you God for putting him in my life and all he does for us.  He busts his ass to support us.  And he doesn’t get thanked enough.  I tell him as much as I can.  But even thanking him everyday doesn’t do him justice I don’t think.  He’s just that amazing.  Jealous?  You should be.

And guess what my freakin’ son just did.  Hopped over the back of the couch onto the floor.  What the f.  No way.  It’s time to go.  Or time to knock them out.  Is that allowed?  Can I just knock them out until it’s movie time?  Now he’s running from one side of the couch to the other.  Time to go…

***UPDATE***

Right after I posted this, my daughter came to me and told me she wanted an MP3 player.  She has an iPod touch.  And she’s 6.  I know, spoiled rotten.  I just got so upset.  Thankfully, my medicine helps me hold back what I actually want to say (you little beotch, you have the best iPod touch there is and you’re 6, don’t be an ungrateful bastard.”  Instead, I say, “You have an MP3 player.  You have the best one they make.  It’s your iPod touch.  They don’t get any better.  Now if you’d like me to get rid of it, I’ll gladly sell it and get money for it and buy you a cheap one.  Is it not good enough for you?  Would you like a little MP3 player you can’t play games on and download games onto?”  And she said, “But I still want an MP3 player.”

Holy hell.

Dare I say, glory hole?

As I sat down to think about what to write tonight, I hear, “Dare I say, glory hole?” come from the TV.  Needless to say, my husband is home.  And controlling the remote.

We are watching Gold Rush: Alaska.  Well, we aren’t.  But he is.

I never ever EVER get to watch my own TV shows!  I am a stay-at-home mom, yes.  So I know a lot of people out there think all I probably do is watch TV.  I should have taken a picture of my DVR to show you guys…it’s definitely not what goes on around here (although I really wish it was!).  I seriously have 4 hours of Grey’s Anatomy left to watch.  (And that’s a BIG deal!)  Plus, hours on end of Law and Order: SVU (5), CSI: NY (3), New Girl (3), Ellen (5) – just from the last set that I deleted that I never watched, a bunch of random TV shows I recorded, Beyond Scared Straight (5), and I could go on and on and on…

I do a LOT during the day.  I don’t normally sit down until after the kids are in bed, from the time we get up in the morning.  I get up, make lunches, get kids ready for school and off to school, have a baby all day, who sleeps for about 20-30 minutes at a time here and there; I clean all day.  I have a baby to clean up after, I have a huge ass gross, smell, disgusting English bulldog to clean up after – his groomer has actually told me, “Man, he sheds really bad for a short-haired dog, doesn’t he?”  No shit.  You should see my vacuum canister after just the living room – after ONE day.  It’s completely full.  In just one room.  He sheds awful.  So I have to vacuum, sweep and mop everyday.  Plus I do school work, and take care of three kids on a daily basis.

Back to what my complaint is…I want more time to sit on my big old fat ass and watch tv…I want a life where I do nothing.  Is that so much to ask?!  But when I do seem to be able to sit down and watch TV, the hubster is always home.  And guess what?  Me being the absolute perfect, awesome, best wife in the WORLD (nice, huh?) I let him watch what he wants, because he’s never home to do so, except late at night.  Even though I’m home all day, and have the opportunity to sit down and watch TV, I choose not to.  He can’t watch it because he’s never home.  And that’s not out of his mouth, it’s out of mine.  He really does work crazy hard, and seriously long hours, and mostly 6 days a week.  Then he comes home and cooks sometimes, because he’s really good at it and enjoys it.  Then he finally sits down after 9 – on a good night.  Seriously.  9pm for him to sit down at night – that’s a really good night.  So yes, being the best wife in the world, I let him take over the TV, even though it’s the first time I’ve sat down all day too (if I’ve even gotten the chance yet!).  Or when I do get to, he’s already in control of the remote…

So it’s always man shows.  Like Gold Rush: Alaska.  Or drag racing.  Or poker.  Or something manly.  I’m not all against man TV.  I like a lot of the shows we watch together.  But some of them like Ax Men, Gold Rush, poker, Moonshiners, random stupid stuff like that – I definitely can’t get on board with.  I love my husband dearly, but I don’t like his choice of TV shows much.

Just my random thought of the night…

Anyone else out there not a fan of whatever else their spouse watches?  Or is it just me?