I don’t get it.  Spring break?  I don’t think so.  Those two words (put together) are not in the SAHM’s vocabulary.  At least not this SAHM.  No freaking way.  Nope.  Not in the slightest.

My week?  It’s already looking like a little slice of hell served on a dish.  Make that a platter, served by the devil himself.  I’m already dreading it.  This weekend won’t be so bad.  Tonight, my children are doing sleepovers.  I have my niece over spending the night with Big Girl, and they’ll be okay.  But Baby Girl is running a fever of 101.8 last time I checked (pre-Motrin), now she’s down (during Motring), but currently very moody (is it too early for PMS at 19 months old?).  The constant crying if I’m not holding her just adds a little background noise if I get bored, right?

Now, my son…he’s a whole different story himself.  Fresh off the bus, I notice he has on a different pair of pants than I sent him to school in.  And these sweatpants that do not belong to him are extremely over-sized, unbearably ugly and about to fall off his skinny little size tiny body.  Boy is in first grade, is six, and is turning seven this July.  My first thought is, “oh holy hell, he peed his pants at school.  Or worse, he took a dump in them.  WTF.”  So I say, “what happened to your pants, buddy?”  He said, “I just spilled something on my pants at school, that’s all.”  Whew.  What a relief.  At least I don’t have that kid.  You know.  That one.

Then I ask him if he wants to spend the night with his cousin for his birthday.  Let me remind you, Boy has major social anxiety.  He does not bode well in social settings, and his cousin does not attend the same elementary school he does.  So Boy will not know these children his cousin has coming over.  His cousin’s friends are not Boy’s friends.  This will cause a major disruption in Boy’s brain, and cause all kinds of electric currents to go off in his brain and things will be going haywire in there.  Good luck to my brother and his wife. When you flip out because you can’t find Boy because he’s done his normal flipping out and running and hiding, because he can’t handle the pressure of the social scene, odds are, he will be hiding under a bed, in a closet, or behind a piece of furniture.  Good luck to you.  Oh, and tell your sanity good riddance as well.  At least I sent him with his iPod, so he can FaceTime me when he needs to chat.  So, I expect no sleep tonight, because I will be on the phone with him nonstop.  He won’t want to leave, but he won’t want to get off FaceTime with me either.  I’m already smiling from the excitement.  Woo-hoo!  (Enter sarcasm here.)

Oh, here comes Big Girl asking if her friend can spend the night as well.  Yay me!

And did I forget to mention, I’m now the soccer coach for Big Girl’s soccer team?  Yep, yours truly is coaching her U8 soccer team.  And I don’t know one f’ing thing about soccer.  I know your supposed to stay on the field (and I now know it’s called a field, after I called it a court the other day and got told that it definitely was NOT a court – it was a field!) and I know you are supposed to try to kick it into the goal, and not use your hands.  That is the extent of my knowledge of soccer.  Beyond that, I know nothing.  So, good luck to me!  And with my luck, I’m not even starting at a young age, I’m starting where the parents are going to want a competitive coach and the kids probably know a lot, and have been playing for a couple years.  Where we are from, soccer is pretty big (at least in this county).  So I figure I’m going to spend most of my season being yelled at by my parents.  I haven’t gotten a chance to hold practice yet, because we were rained out this past week.  And next week (spring break) I will be out of town on our regularly scheduled practice night, and so will my assistant coach (my sister), so we are moving the practice to Tuesday nights, and the forecast is calling for rain.  Our first game is the following Saturday.  All with no practice it’s looking like.  WINNERS!

Back to spring break.  Here’s how mine is shaping up to be:

Monday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

6pm-7pm: Boy – boy scouts

Tuesday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

5:30pm-7pm: soccer practice (if it doesn’t rain)

Wednesday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

1pm-3pm: Big Girl’s friend’s birthday party

7pm – Maroon 5 concert in DC (and I have floor seats baby!! Best part of the week!  I get to see the man of my dreams Adam Levine!)

Big Girl has a sleepover

Thursday:

8am-8:30am – pick Big Girl up from sleepover

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

Friday:

9am-12pm: Big Girl – soccer camp

1pm – Take Big Girl and Baby Girl to my mom

3pm – Boy has psychiatric appointment at UVA (for his social anxiety – he has check-ups every two months)

Big Girl has another sleepover

Saturday:

2pm – Boy has counseling

sometime (haven’t gotten the schedule yet) our first soccer game

Sunday:

Easter – Family gathering – may require either Xanax or drinking.  Probably heavy drinking after the week I’ve had.  Or just a Xanax.  Who knows?  I guess time will tell.

my crazy calendar the week of spring break (and the rest of the month actually!)

my crazy calendar the week of spring break (and the rest of the month actually!)

Anyway, that is how my so-called “Spring Break” is looking – as of today.  I feel like everyday it’s changing, every day something new is happening and my calendar is growing and growing.  I was supposed to be heading to the beach for a relaxing vacation.  Doesn’t look so relaxing, now does it?  But then again, motherhood isn’t relaxing when you have three children ages 7 and under.

Advertisements

It’s been a VERY long time!

Wow it’s been a seriously long time!  I just looked at my last post.  June 2012.  That was 9-10 months ago.  I am terrible.  Wow.  What a loser I am!

Things have definitely changed a lot since then!  Wow have they changed!  Life has gotten a lot – if you can believe this – CRAZIER!

I know that is the last word you were probably expecting.  Me, using the word crazy – really?!  Ha, it’s only my personal motto.  If we were like cartoons and had clouds floating above our heads with one word in it describing our personalities, mine cloud would definitely SHOUT “CRAZY!!!!!”

But that’s the fun part.  You never know what crazy you’re going to get!  Ha!  My poor hubby.  But he loves me so.  And thank God for him.  He truly is a blessing.  He’s a Godsend.  What a life that man has given us.  I thank God for him.  He’s an angel.  Love that man more than life.

Back to the story, things have changed so much.  We moved into a bigger house.

Image

The new house!

Also, we got a much longer custody with the big kids than we had before.

Image

The big kiddos in the snow 🙂

All of these things have happened to be way better life improvements!  Definitely amazing ones to say the least.  Also in there, we started a new school year, had Thanksgiving, Christmas during which time we were moving.  Yep, we tackled moving over the busiest time of the year.  That was fun.  But it was also a blessing to be in the new house and host, yes host, Thanksgiving in our new house for the first time ever, and have Christmas in the new house.  It was glorious.

Image

Christmas in the new house.

It finally feels like this crazy life is starting to fall into place.  I mean, things are still crazy as hell all around, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, no would I?!  Crazy is my middle name, isn’t it?

As crazy as it is, I’d love to start posting more.  I will be on the computer more now, as I will be starting to go back to school to finish up my degree.  I have an AA in Liberal Arts, but I’m going back for a bachelor’s degree, finally!  That’s right, crazy is growing up!  Well, crazy is a grown up, but crazy is going to finally act like it!  (Well…maybe.)

Kindle Craziness!

WOW it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything.  It’s just been crazy.  The end of the school year, broken bones, all kinds of trips with the kids, new animals added to the household (a beautiful new Calico cat named Daisy).  It’s just been a wild and crazy time.  3 kids and me leaves me no time at all to do much of anything for myself.

The newest craze in my house with my kids is their kindles.  Thank goodness.  I love to be able to say that my kids new craze isn’t a video game.  Or anything wacky or stupid that’ll get them hurt.  I already have a kid with a broken bone.  Boy broke his finger and boy was that the biggest ordeal of the year so far.  That was the craziest week of my life for a long time.

The whole craze started when I started reading books on my iBooks on my iPad, and Best Friend was reading books on her hubby’s (who also happen’s to be my brother!) kindle touch.  We were talking about the differences between the two over the phone in conversations, then through text as well all the time.  She bragged about the kindle touch a lot, and to me it sounded unbelievable, but as I told her and Hubby, I just couldn’t imagine spending the money on an e-reader when I had iBooks on my iPad.  But then…

We came face-to-face when the kindle touch and the iBooks on the iPad.  And I was sold.  I bought my kindle touch that day.  Literally as soon as I got home I ordered it.  And of course, Brother, who always has the best things (I so hope he read that, because if he did, he rolled his eyes and said “whatever”), had the best case in the world for his kindle touch too.  It comes with a light at the top that you can pull out, and it runs off the battery of the kindle.  (The battery also lasts for months apparently if you keep the wi-fi turned off.)  So I also ordered the same case.  Duh, why wouldn’t I?!

And once again, I’m addicted.  This time, to my Kindle Touch.

Then the mistake came.  My kids saw it.  Big Girl, who is the biggest reader I’ve ever met of a child, wanted one.  And me being the mother I am, of course wanted to buy her one immediately.  And Hubby said, “go ahead, if there’s a kid that deserves one, it’s her.”  She came home from school this year, finishing first grade, with a perfect report card for not only the last semester, but the entire year, and her reading teacher wrote that she was reading consistently at a 3rd grade level at this time.  When we are at home, she walks around reading.  She takes books in the car.  She reads her self to sleep at night.  She takes books everywhere.  She definitely does deserve one.  And I’m so proud of her!  So I told her all of that.  We told her how proud of her we were, and that we ordered her one.  The joy that overcame her face was enough to know right then and there that the decision was right.  She was so happy.

Then came the problem.  How do we tell boy that he wasn’t getting one and she was?

So hers came yesterday.  She opened it.  He got mad.  Of course.

I sat him down and talked to him, and started explaining to him why we got Big Girl one and not him.  I said, “We got Big Girl one because she came home with a perfect report card and her teacher said she was reading at third grade level, and we are very proud of her.”

His response: “Well, I had a perfect report card all year too, Mom.  And I learned to read this year.”

Man down.  And that man was me.

How the f do you come back from that?  So instead of discouraging his reading efforts, I decided to order him one, against my better judgement. But after all, he is right.  If that’s the standard I was going on, my 5-year-old son was smart enough to point it out, and I wasn’t smart enough to see it myself.  How could I not know he wouldn’t understand and get mad?

So, I got on Amazon and ordered Boy one.  But I had a huge talk with him.  I told him if he didn’t use it, and I didn’t see him trying to learn how to read better and making a big effort to read, I would sell it to someone else that loves to read.  I told him he didn’t need one just because me and Big Girl have one.  But I also want to encourage both my kids to read, the love it, and anything I can do to help, I will.  And if this is something that will help him, I’m all for it.  If not, I’m sure the thing will sell for a decent amount and I won’t lose too much money (staying positive!).

So that’s what’s going on at our house nowadays…

We leave for the beach in less than 2 weeks, we will be going to Water Country tomorrow (I hope).  And in the mean time, there will always be the Kindle Touch…

WE WERE ATTACKED!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WERE ATTACKED!!!!!!

The leprechaun got us.  Last night.  While we slept.  Apparently he (or she – or they – who knows) wanted to play some tricks on us.

I was feeling like more of a Happy Momma last night than a Crazy Momma, so I made the kids some aahhhhhhmmmmmazzzing (in case you couldn’t read that through my obvious drool on the screen – it was ‘amazing’) red velvet cupcakes last night for dessert.  Holy freakin’ moly.  Yum sauce.  Y-U-M S-A-U-C-E.  Holy buttsauce were those freaking fantastic.  Oh how lovely it is to be a fat kid now.

(side note:  I so want to lose my baby weight, but I also so love to eat what I eat.)

Back to the story…

The green short fella.  He decided he was going to push a chair over to the counter to help himself up there.  Then he iced my cupcakes, which I didn’t do, he put shamrocks and sprinkles on them, then he even ate one!  Can you imagine?!  Oh, and he did the worst thing EVER!!!!!

HE.  MADE.  A….

MESS.

That’s right.  He made a mess.  He spilled the sprinkles on the counter.  This did not sit well with my children.  Especially Boy with his OCD.  He said, “he was BAD Mommy, BAD!  He made a mess!  He was so BAD!”

Then after I made them breakfast this morning and I went to pour them lemonade, I opened up the fridge and guess what we found?!?

That damn little green devil.  He turned our lemonade green.  What a bastard.

Then, this is what happens to my children after we find out he visits our house:

And that’s why he visits.  This made their day.  Their week.  Hell, this made their next couple weeks, maybe even month or two.  They’ll be talking about this forever.  Until the next cool and fun thing comes along.  They’ve talked about it all day, a million times.  They’ve been so extraordinarily excited about it all day, telling everyone!  They’ve been the happiest kids!

So that’s why he visited our house.  To make two beautiful children happy!

Then we had this little beauty enjoying the beautiful weather all day today!  We played outside all day.  My son learned to ride his bike without training wheels – now both children officially ride without them – scary!!!  Ahhh….We had such an amazing day outside enjoying the beautiful weather.  It was perfect.  Not too hot, not cold at all…it was all just right.  A perfect day.  Blessed with perfect weather with my beautiful children.

How lucky am I?!?!?

 

 

A three ring f’ing circus.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not all negative all the time.  I LOVE my life.  I have an amazing life, and I laugh everyday until I cry.  I have it great.  I have the best kids and husband ever.  My dog is okay, but he can be a bastard face a lot of the times.

I just post a lot of negative things on here because this is my outlet.  This is where I vent.  I can’t vent to my kids – obviously – because I’m usually complaining about something they did!  And I’m definitely not going to be that mom that complains to her kids, yells at them, and makes them feel like little pieces of shit, because they definitely don’t deserve that.  They’re amazing.  And they’re actually incredibly well behaved and awesome kids.  I’m so proud of the way they’re turning out.

I just write a lot of negative crap because I can.  I can complain on here.  I can voice my opinion, my thoughts and fears, and announce my irritations to the world.  To anyone besides my kids.  That’s basically what it comes down to.

Now that I’ve said all that…

I’m taking the kids to the movies today to see The Lorax.  I can’t wait.  Know why?  Because they’re so excited they’re driving me f’ing crazy. They’re bouncing off the walls, couches, and everything else they’re not supposed to be doing, because they’re so excited they can’t stand themselves.  Little bastards.  (Just kidding!)  But seriously, everytime I tell them we’re doing something and they get crazy excited, they start becoming maniacs.  I just had to yell at my daughter, who is incredibly well behaved in almost the perfect way, because she was jumping from the coffee table to the couch, and vice versa.  What the f—?  I definitely didn’t raise them to be doing that.  At this time – that’s when I’m grateful for my crazy pills.  Whoever invented them is a freaking genius.  And my new lover.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Sometimes it’s like a three ring f’ing circus around here.  With three kids, who are six, five and six months, and a one-year-old stubborn ass English bulldog, it gets insane.  Like crazy insane.  When one is sick, tired, hyper, in a bad mood…anything ranging from good to bad, everything around here changes dramatically.  Because when one isn’t happy, they piss the other one off on purpose constantly (the big kids).  And when the baby isn’t happy and she’s screaming and crying – no one is happy.  And when the dog gets a wild hair up his ass and becomes that instant asshole that he does randomly – no one is happy – again.

And when the hubster is home and all this craziness is happening, the poor guy goes crazy.  He can’t handle it.  He always says, “and that’s why I go to work.”  And I roll my eyes (in jealously) and wish I had a job at those times.  He’s so lucky he gets away sometimes.  Even though it’s to work.  Poor guy.  Once again – here is my daily chance – Thank you God for putting him in my life and all he does for us.  He busts his ass to support us.  And he doesn’t get thanked enough.  I tell him as much as I can.  But even thanking him everyday doesn’t do him justice I don’t think.  He’s just that amazing.  Jealous?  You should be.

And guess what my freakin’ son just did.  Hopped over the back of the couch onto the floor.  What the f.  No way.  It’s time to go.  Or time to knock them out.  Is that allowed?  Can I just knock them out until it’s movie time?  Now he’s running from one side of the couch to the other.  Time to go…

***UPDATE***

Right after I posted this, my daughter came to me and told me she wanted an MP3 player.  She has an iPod touch.  And she’s 6.  I know, spoiled rotten.  I just got so upset.  Thankfully, my medicine helps me hold back what I actually want to say (you little beotch, you have the best iPod touch there is and you’re 6, don’t be an ungrateful bastard.”  Instead, I say, “You have an MP3 player.  You have the best one they make.  It’s your iPod touch.  They don’t get any better.  Now if you’d like me to get rid of it, I’ll gladly sell it and get money for it and buy you a cheap one.  Is it not good enough for you?  Would you like a little MP3 player you can’t play games on and download games onto?”  And she said, “But I still want an MP3 player.”

Holy hell.

I feel like I’m floating!

Is anyone else out there on Lyrica?!

I am, and let me tell you – it’s CRAZY awesome.

I have lower back problems as a result of a c-section gone bad.  So the doctors have tried to put me on all kinds of pain medicines…pain medicines, muscle relaxers, steroids, anti-inflammatory medicines.  None of which helped – none.  So the last time I went to the doctor, I got put on Lyrica, which is a medicine for nerve pain.  And let me tell you, it’s the best medicine in the world.

I asked my doctor to put me on something that wasn’t addicting.  I’m only 28, and have horrible back pain, and I’ll be on something for the rest of my life it looks like.  I didn’t want to be put on a medicine that I’d become addicted to and couldn’t live without.

Soooo…after trying millions of things, we found Lyrica.  And then I found my heaven.  Ahhhhh…

Every night I can’t wait to take it.  So much for it not being addicting like the doctor told me!  It’s freaking crazy amazing!  I am in love with it.  I’m in love with my doctor for giving it to me!  And she’s an old woman and I think I’d marry her now!  She finally found something that helps my back pain…6 months after it started!  Holy crap I’m in love.

The first time I took it, I was laying in bed with Hubby.  We watch TV for awhile each night in bed before we go to sleep, kind of to wind down from the day together.  It’s actually my favorite time of the day, I’ve told him that so many times.  It’s our quiet time.  No kids, no work for him, no anything.  Just me and him.  It’s awesome.  But I took it, and when it hit me, I looked at him and said, “I feel like I’m floating!”  And that’s the last thing I remember.  Then I was out.

That’s another thing I LOVE about it.  I have the worst problems sleeping.  Not anymore!  I haven’t had one problem going to sleep since I started taking this miracle pill.  It puts me right out.  But still gives me the ability to wake up with the baby if and when I need to.  It’s the best invention ever!

Anyway…anyone else out there on lyrica?  Does it make you float around like it does me?  I got up at 5am with the baby, after taking 2 last night, and I was literally walking sideways.  I couldn’t walk straight, I probably looked like a drunk ass climbing out of bed.  I walked down the stairs, made a bottle for the baby and went back up and rocked her while I fed her.  I don’t think I felt anything I was doing.  But I wasn’t in pain!  And I can still control my body, which is the weird thing.  I can control it, but I can’t feel it.  It’s pretty awesome.

Pretty freaking amazing.

I’m a crazy psycho!

Seriously what the hell am I doing?!?!

I’m up at 5am – and just what the f— do you think I’m doing?!  PRINTING COUPONS!

What has my life turned into?!?!  I’m crazy.  Seriously, I’m a freaking whack job.  No wonder why my husband calls me crazy all the time.

I didn’t just wake up by myself at 5am to come down and print coupons.  I didn’t set my alarm for the middle of the night to come check facebook to see all the pages I follow for updates on coupons.  I didn’t want to sneak my computer upstairs in bed and not wake my hubby while I did this. I didn’t want to be awake doing this.

Baby Girl woke up screaming her head off like she had a bad dream!  Poor sweet girl.  So I went in and comforted her, and she calmed down, so I put her back in her crib to fall back asleep.  I didn’t think she would, so I stayed awake for a few minutes waiting to see what would happen.  I didn’t want to fall back asleep and immediately been woken back up, because that would’ve pissed me off real bad.  That’s just my temper and attitude though.  Not her fault.  I wouldn’t have been mad at Baby Girl, I just would’ve been mad I had just fallen back asleep and had to wake the f—back up.  Soooo I’m thinking Baby Girl wanted me to wake up and print coupons, so she had a nightmare I missed some and she wanted me to wake up and make sure I printed them.  Yep, that’s my girl!

So I got a free trial (or two maybe…) of contacts.  (Click here for a link to them!)  Which is awesome, because I need a backup pair.  I hardly wear them because I can’t see too well out of the ones I have, so I wear my glasses all the time now.  Which to me, sucks a big fat one.  I absolutely hate my glasses.  But I also hate not being able to see and having headaches every freaking damn day, so I wear my stupid sucky ball sack glasses so I don’t chop my damn head off from the headache I get wearing my contacts.

I also printed a ton of coupons from here, coupons.com.  The trick is, to always change the zip code to random ones, and you get chances to get different coupons, because different areas have different ones.  So I make sure I change the zip code all the time to get a bunch of different coupons to print!  I also got a free sample of Prilosec OTC.  Click here for one.  You can also get a free sample for SnoreX, (here) although it’s being a bastard for me, and I can’t figure it out, but I’d LOVE to get one, because the hubster snores.  I got all the way to the final page and it stopped working…so good freaking luck.

Anyway, enjoy you couponing freaks.

 

Decisions, decisions…

I really seriously want to stay home today.  It’s completely freezing outside and the wind is like a tornado.  Plus I have fourteen years of TV on my DVR to watch.  And the big kids are at their dad’s house for the weekend and Hubby is at work.  So I actually get to have control over the TV if I choose to!  Wow!

But what am I going to do?  I have coupons I want to use, that make things free.  So I think – no, I know – at some point today, I’ll drag myself out and use them.  Even though the last thing I feel like doing is going out of the house.  I’m in comfortable sweats, with the heat up, the baby is sleeping, and I have on Grey’s Anatomy right now as I sit on the couch and type this.  This is exactly what I want to do all day!!!

And I have the complete option to do this!  I could…no one is forcing me to do anything else at all today.  But for some crazy reason, all I want to do is go to Target and Walmart to get my free stuff!

It makes me so excited to go get stuff for free.  I have coupons for lotions, makeup, and other health and beauty products that are all going to be completely free.  Oh, and soup.  Free soup.  Woo-hoo!  I can’t wait to go out!  I really don’t feel like it, but at the same time, I’m super crazy excited to go do it!  I seriously am a complete addict now!

I wish I had an assistant.  I’d make him or her go out and do this for me, so I can sit down and do nothing all day.  Man what a decision to make about today: coupon and get free stuff or hang out at home in the cozy house in cozy sweats all day long.  Both of those sound like heaven to me.  I know that sounds weird, but it truly is a new obsession of mine, and my head is going crazy right now wanting to be at the store getting free stuff, but not wanting to actually go outside in the freezing weather to do so!  Decisions, decisions…

Anyone want to come be my personal assistant?!  I’d really love one.  Holy hell that would make life so easy.

Dare I say, glory hole?

As I sat down to think about what to write tonight, I hear, “Dare I say, glory hole?” come from the TV.  Needless to say, my husband is home.  And controlling the remote.

We are watching Gold Rush: Alaska.  Well, we aren’t.  But he is.

I never ever EVER get to watch my own TV shows!  I am a stay-at-home mom, yes.  So I know a lot of people out there think all I probably do is watch TV.  I should have taken a picture of my DVR to show you guys…it’s definitely not what goes on around here (although I really wish it was!).  I seriously have 4 hours of Grey’s Anatomy left to watch.  (And that’s a BIG deal!)  Plus, hours on end of Law and Order: SVU (5), CSI: NY (3), New Girl (3), Ellen (5) – just from the last set that I deleted that I never watched, a bunch of random TV shows I recorded, Beyond Scared Straight (5), and I could go on and on and on…

I do a LOT during the day.  I don’t normally sit down until after the kids are in bed, from the time we get up in the morning.  I get up, make lunches, get kids ready for school and off to school, have a baby all day, who sleeps for about 20-30 minutes at a time here and there; I clean all day.  I have a baby to clean up after, I have a huge ass gross, smell, disgusting English bulldog to clean up after – his groomer has actually told me, “Man, he sheds really bad for a short-haired dog, doesn’t he?”  No shit.  You should see my vacuum canister after just the living room – after ONE day.  It’s completely full.  In just one room.  He sheds awful.  So I have to vacuum, sweep and mop everyday.  Plus I do school work, and take care of three kids on a daily basis.

Back to what my complaint is…I want more time to sit on my big old fat ass and watch tv…I want a life where I do nothing.  Is that so much to ask?!  But when I do seem to be able to sit down and watch TV, the hubster is always home.  And guess what?  Me being the absolute perfect, awesome, best wife in the WORLD (nice, huh?) I let him watch what he wants, because he’s never home to do so, except late at night.  Even though I’m home all day, and have the opportunity to sit down and watch TV, I choose not to.  He can’t watch it because he’s never home.  And that’s not out of his mouth, it’s out of mine.  He really does work crazy hard, and seriously long hours, and mostly 6 days a week.  Then he comes home and cooks sometimes, because he’s really good at it and enjoys it.  Then he finally sits down after 9 – on a good night.  Seriously.  9pm for him to sit down at night – that’s a really good night.  So yes, being the best wife in the world, I let him take over the TV, even though it’s the first time I’ve sat down all day too (if I’ve even gotten the chance yet!).  Or when I do get to, he’s already in control of the remote…

So it’s always man shows.  Like Gold Rush: Alaska.  Or drag racing.  Or poker.  Or something manly.  I’m not all against man TV.  I like a lot of the shows we watch together.  But some of them like Ax Men, Gold Rush, poker, Moonshiners, random stupid stuff like that – I definitely can’t get on board with.  I love my husband dearly, but I don’t like his choice of TV shows much.

Just my random thought of the night…

Anyone else out there not a fan of whatever else their spouse watches?  Or is it just me?

You’re crazy…crazy about you…no just plain crazy!

“You’re CRAZY!”

I have to laugh.  My husband just yelled that (lovingly – don’t worry!) at me!  I said, “Crazy about you!”  He said, “no, just plain crazy!”

These statements came after I ran and jumped onto the bed, jumped on top of him and squeezed the hell out of him.  Then I started playfully humping his leg like a dog, laughing my ass off to the point I started snorting.  I had tears streaming out of my face.  The funniest thing is, he’s so modest and shy.  And me, well…if you’ve read my other posts, or you know me, I think you pretty much know I’m the exact opposite.  I’m so very not shy.  I will speak my mind; I will hump your leg if I get real excited about something.  That’s just what I do.  Actually, it’s what my best friend and I do…I know she’s out there reading this laughing her ass off right now.  She knows what humping the air or humping a leg is all about.  But she is a whole post for another day…I can’t wait to talk about her!  She is the other love of my life.

Back to the subject of this post…

My husband thinks I’m the weirdest person he knows.  I dance, frolic, and skip around the house a lot when he’s around.  I can’t help it.  Literally, he makes me just ooze happiness.  I’ve never in my life been around someone who makes me as happy as he does.  I can’t even describe it; except to say that he literally drives me crazy (but in a good way!).

I can have the absolute worst day of my life, and be in tears and just wanting to crawl into a ball in our huge comfy bed; but when he gets home from work, it slowly dissolves away.  I can honestly feel the anger and irateness and the helplessness just melt off me.  I feel like it’s so obvious that if you could actually see the feelings, you would see the red oozing out of me onto the floor behind me, just dripping, melting, going away.  Or you would see clouds of red puffing out of me, leaving, and you’d see me once again looking calm, at peace, and most of all, happy.

We got married incredibly quick.  We’ve known each other for years, but we were always just friends.  He said he loved me way before I even knew his name (although I think he’s full of shit and just trying to score some brownie points with me).  I always trusted him, felt safe around him, and felt I could confide in him.  I think we had an amazing bond from the moment we met.  It just never blossomed into anything because I was in a relationship at the time.  But I really felt connected to him in a strange way.  He was safe.  It made me safe.  He made me safe, even when we weren’t together and we were just friends.  He’s my safe house.  He’s my bomb shelter.  He’s my light house.  He’s my kicking post at times – poor guy married a crazy bitch.  But he’s my rock.  He’s my angel.  I really believe he was sent here to save me.  After him, my whole life turned around.  I went from being a train wreck of a person to being the ultimate mother and wife I can be.  He makes me want to strive to be a better person, to make everyone around me happy, to make the world better.  He makes me feel like I could rule the world.

Needless to say, after all he has done for me, for our family, for our life and future together, there is no way I could ever repay him.  He is my soul mate.  I try everyday to make him as happy as he makes me.  I tell him how much I love him all the time.  I thank God for putting him in my life everyday.

And what makes me the happiest:  I get to keep him.  Forever.  And that to me is bliss.  That’s my heaven.

Hubby, if you ever learn how to find my blog, I have something to tell you…

Baby, I love you.  Thank you.