I feel like I’m floating!

Is anyone else out there on Lyrica?!

I am, and let me tell you – it’s CRAZY awesome.

I have lower back problems as a result of a c-section gone bad.  So the doctors have tried to put me on all kinds of pain medicines…pain medicines, muscle relaxers, steroids, anti-inflammatory medicines.  None of which helped – none.  So the last time I went to the doctor, I got put on Lyrica, which is a medicine for nerve pain.  And let me tell you, it’s the best medicine in the world.

I asked my doctor to put me on something that wasn’t addicting.  I’m only 28, and have horrible back pain, and I’ll be on something for the rest of my life it looks like.  I didn’t want to be put on a medicine that I’d become addicted to and couldn’t live without.

Soooo…after trying millions of things, we found Lyrica.  And then I found my heaven.  Ahhhhh…

Every night I can’t wait to take it.  So much for it not being addicting like the doctor told me!  It’s freaking crazy amazing!  I am in love with it.  I’m in love with my doctor for giving it to me!  And she’s an old woman and I think I’d marry her now!  She finally found something that helps my back pain…6 months after it started!  Holy crap I’m in love.

The first time I took it, I was laying in bed with Hubby.  We watch TV for awhile each night in bed before we go to sleep, kind of to wind down from the day together.  It’s actually my favorite time of the day, I’ve told him that so many times.  It’s our quiet time.  No kids, no work for him, no anything.  Just me and him.  It’s awesome.  But I took it, and when it hit me, I looked at him and said, “I feel like I’m floating!”  And that’s the last thing I remember.  Then I was out.

That’s another thing I LOVE about it.  I have the worst problems sleeping.  Not anymore!  I haven’t had one problem going to sleep since I started taking this miracle pill.  It puts me right out.  But still gives me the ability to wake up with the baby if and when I need to.  It’s the best invention ever!

Anyway…anyone else out there on lyrica?  Does it make you float around like it does me?  I got up at 5am with the baby, after taking 2 last night, and I was literally walking sideways.  I couldn’t walk straight, I probably looked like a drunk ass climbing out of bed.  I walked down the stairs, made a bottle for the baby and went back up and rocked her while I fed her.  I don’t think I felt anything I was doing.  But I wasn’t in pain!  And I can still control my body, which is the weird thing.  I can control it, but I can’t feel it.  It’s pretty awesome.

Pretty freaking amazing.

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I’m a crazy psycho!

Seriously what the hell am I doing?!?!

I’m up at 5am – and just what the f— do you think I’m doing?!  PRINTING COUPONS!

What has my life turned into?!?!  I’m crazy.  Seriously, I’m a freaking whack job.  No wonder why my husband calls me crazy all the time.

I didn’t just wake up by myself at 5am to come down and print coupons.  I didn’t set my alarm for the middle of the night to come check facebook to see all the pages I follow for updates on coupons.  I didn’t want to sneak my computer upstairs in bed and not wake my hubby while I did this. I didn’t want to be awake doing this.

Baby Girl woke up screaming her head off like she had a bad dream!  Poor sweet girl.  So I went in and comforted her, and she calmed down, so I put her back in her crib to fall back asleep.  I didn’t think she would, so I stayed awake for a few minutes waiting to see what would happen.  I didn’t want to fall back asleep and immediately been woken back up, because that would’ve pissed me off real bad.  That’s just my temper and attitude though.  Not her fault.  I wouldn’t have been mad at Baby Girl, I just would’ve been mad I had just fallen back asleep and had to wake the f—back up.  Soooo I’m thinking Baby Girl wanted me to wake up and print coupons, so she had a nightmare I missed some and she wanted me to wake up and make sure I printed them.  Yep, that’s my girl!

So I got a free trial (or two maybe…) of contacts.  (Click here for a link to them!)  Which is awesome, because I need a backup pair.  I hardly wear them because I can’t see too well out of the ones I have, so I wear my glasses all the time now.  Which to me, sucks a big fat one.  I absolutely hate my glasses.  But I also hate not being able to see and having headaches every freaking damn day, so I wear my stupid sucky ball sack glasses so I don’t chop my damn head off from the headache I get wearing my contacts.

I also printed a ton of coupons from here, coupons.com.  The trick is, to always change the zip code to random ones, and you get chances to get different coupons, because different areas have different ones.  So I make sure I change the zip code all the time to get a bunch of different coupons to print!  I also got a free sample of Prilosec OTC.  Click here for one.  You can also get a free sample for SnoreX, (here) although it’s being a bastard for me, and I can’t figure it out, but I’d LOVE to get one, because the hubster snores.  I got all the way to the final page and it stopped working…so good freaking luck.

Anyway, enjoy you couponing freaks.

 

Today sucked a big fat one.

Well, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: today sucked a big fat one.  I definitely didn’t have the most pleasant of days.

I immediately woke up in a crappy mood.  Thankfully, Baby Girl slept all night!  It’s a miracle!  It’s been a long time since she has slept good.  She’s not sleeping well anymore, and it gets on my nerves.  But thankfully, last night she did.  And thankfully, I just put her down to bed.

I haven’t felt good all day either.  I woke up and had a slight tickle in my throat, and all day it’s just gotten worse.  It started out as tolerable, then went to bothering me, then went to man I think I’m getting sick, to holy hell my throat is on fire and I’m swallowing razor blades.  My wonderful sister (aka Best Friend) brought me Glory Days for lunch (yum sauce!) but I couldn’t even really eat much because it was all burning my throat.  And the whole time she was here I felt like I was being a complete a-hole, even though I wasn’t meaning to.  I really just didn’t feel good.  And it was showing in my attitude.  The best part about it was the fact that she completely understands and I’m sure she didn’t care that I was a big ol’ moody bitch.  Love you Best Friend!

The kids got off the school bus and Boy didn’t have any homework (I completely lucked out there because I don’t think I had the patience for it – at all!)  Then we went to Best Friend’s house after Big Girl did her homework, because Boy had counseling today for his OCD/anxiety.  We hang out there for awhile, I organize her pantry after she gives me a wonderful vicodin for my throat, and then I leave to take Boy to counseling.  I talk to the counselor for awhile, only to learn she thinks I need counseling myself…

What a wonderful surprise.  I need treatment for my OCD behaviors as well.  And I don’t think it’s a ploy to make money, because she can’t treat me, so I know it’s not to put money in her pocket.

Then after his appointment, I head back to Best Friend’s house to pick up the girls, who she kept (wonderful, isn’t she?!) and Ex texts me on my way there and says he’s on his way to my house to pick up the kids.  So I rush getting the kids home from Best Friend’s house.  Only to come home and wait another hour and a half for him to get here…so on a night that’s not mine with the kids (so I’m not prepared to fix dinner) I had to make them dinner.  Believe me, I don’t mind doing this, but I didn’t have anything out…so it just added to my bad mood.  Then I had to give them both showers because it was 7:15 and he still wasn’t here.  When they’re at my house, bed time is anywhere between 7:30-8pm.  Whenever I can manage to get everything done and get them in bed.  So when it was 7:15 he wasn’t here, I threw them in the shower, one at a time, and gave them the quickest showers ever – just in case he showed up while I was doing it.

He finally left at around 7:30 with the kids.  He has a 30 minute drive home.  No wonder they’re so tired when the sleep at his house.

After they left, I fed Baby Girl, then took her upstairs and gave her a bath.  Then I fed her a bottle and put her in her crib.  She moaned and talked for a bit, but I believe she finally feel asleep because it’s been awhile since I’ve heard any noise at all coming out of the monitor.  All I hear right now are the loud ass snores from our huge bulldog as he sleeps on the couch.

The hubby just called and he’s finally on his way home from work…thank God.  I really need him to be home now.  He will make my whole day better…the grossness and bad day with just melt away as he walks through the door.  God really knows what he’s doing because he couldn’t have put me with anyone better.  That husband of mine is the most amazing, perfect man in the entire world for me.  Thanks again God for all you’ve given me when it comes to Hubby (well everything else too, of course) but with that man, I already feel like I’m in heaven.

Wow, already my day is looking up…

I get to spend tonight with the love of my life.  And I get to spend tomorrow couponing.  LOVE.

 

I was a bad ass today!

The decision was to go shopping and using coupons…and the result?

I got all of this for $0.94 before taxes!  And $2.04 after taxes!

That’s right, I’m bad ass!  I’m learning how to coupon!  I’m doing pretty well if I might add.

The reason I did so well is a few things:

1) All the coupons I had, I found stuff on clearance so I could save the most possible money.

2) I had some double coupons on most items, because you can use a Target coupon and manufacturer coupon together on a single item.

3) I had 20 coupons for $1.50 off a product priced at $0.99.  And Target took the $1.50 off each.  So I made $10.20 off the coupons alone.

4) Always find the youngest cashier who looks like they just don’t five a f—.  They will take any coupon in the world.  I really did have a coupon for each thing I used, but I have a feeling if I didn’t, he would’ve punched it in manually anyway.  He just didn’t care.  And I loved it.

Target was always my favorite place in the world to shop.  Now I love it even more!  Clearance, double coupons and dumb cashiers = heaven!

Decisions, decisions…

I really seriously want to stay home today.  It’s completely freezing outside and the wind is like a tornado.  Plus I have fourteen years of TV on my DVR to watch.  And the big kids are at their dad’s house for the weekend and Hubby is at work.  So I actually get to have control over the TV if I choose to!  Wow!

But what am I going to do?  I have coupons I want to use, that make things free.  So I think – no, I know – at some point today, I’ll drag myself out and use them.  Even though the last thing I feel like doing is going out of the house.  I’m in comfortable sweats, with the heat up, the baby is sleeping, and I have on Grey’s Anatomy right now as I sit on the couch and type this.  This is exactly what I want to do all day!!!

And I have the complete option to do this!  I could…no one is forcing me to do anything else at all today.  But for some crazy reason, all I want to do is go to Target and Walmart to get my free stuff!

It makes me so excited to go get stuff for free.  I have coupons for lotions, makeup, and other health and beauty products that are all going to be completely free.  Oh, and soup.  Free soup.  Woo-hoo!  I can’t wait to go out!  I really don’t feel like it, but at the same time, I’m super crazy excited to go do it!  I seriously am a complete addict now!

I wish I had an assistant.  I’d make him or her go out and do this for me, so I can sit down and do nothing all day.  Man what a decision to make about today: coupon and get free stuff or hang out at home in the cozy house in cozy sweats all day long.  Both of those sound like heaven to me.  I know that sounds weird, but it truly is a new obsession of mine, and my head is going crazy right now wanting to be at the store getting free stuff, but not wanting to actually go outside in the freezing weather to do so!  Decisions, decisions…

Anyone want to come be my personal assistant?!  I’d really love one.  Holy hell that would make life so easy.

Dare I say, glory hole?

As I sat down to think about what to write tonight, I hear, “Dare I say, glory hole?” come from the TV.  Needless to say, my husband is home.  And controlling the remote.

We are watching Gold Rush: Alaska.  Well, we aren’t.  But he is.

I never ever EVER get to watch my own TV shows!  I am a stay-at-home mom, yes.  So I know a lot of people out there think all I probably do is watch TV.  I should have taken a picture of my DVR to show you guys…it’s definitely not what goes on around here (although I really wish it was!).  I seriously have 4 hours of Grey’s Anatomy left to watch.  (And that’s a BIG deal!)  Plus, hours on end of Law and Order: SVU (5), CSI: NY (3), New Girl (3), Ellen (5) – just from the last set that I deleted that I never watched, a bunch of random TV shows I recorded, Beyond Scared Straight (5), and I could go on and on and on…

I do a LOT during the day.  I don’t normally sit down until after the kids are in bed, from the time we get up in the morning.  I get up, make lunches, get kids ready for school and off to school, have a baby all day, who sleeps for about 20-30 minutes at a time here and there; I clean all day.  I have a baby to clean up after, I have a huge ass gross, smell, disgusting English bulldog to clean up after – his groomer has actually told me, “Man, he sheds really bad for a short-haired dog, doesn’t he?”  No shit.  You should see my vacuum canister after just the living room – after ONE day.  It’s completely full.  In just one room.  He sheds awful.  So I have to vacuum, sweep and mop everyday.  Plus I do school work, and take care of three kids on a daily basis.

Back to what my complaint is…I want more time to sit on my big old fat ass and watch tv…I want a life where I do nothing.  Is that so much to ask?!  But when I do seem to be able to sit down and watch TV, the hubster is always home.  And guess what?  Me being the absolute perfect, awesome, best wife in the WORLD (nice, huh?) I let him watch what he wants, because he’s never home to do so, except late at night.  Even though I’m home all day, and have the opportunity to sit down and watch TV, I choose not to.  He can’t watch it because he’s never home.  And that’s not out of his mouth, it’s out of mine.  He really does work crazy hard, and seriously long hours, and mostly 6 days a week.  Then he comes home and cooks sometimes, because he’s really good at it and enjoys it.  Then he finally sits down after 9 – on a good night.  Seriously.  9pm for him to sit down at night – that’s a really good night.  So yes, being the best wife in the world, I let him take over the TV, even though it’s the first time I’ve sat down all day too (if I’ve even gotten the chance yet!).  Or when I do get to, he’s already in control of the remote…

So it’s always man shows.  Like Gold Rush: Alaska.  Or drag racing.  Or poker.  Or something manly.  I’m not all against man TV.  I like a lot of the shows we watch together.  But some of them like Ax Men, Gold Rush, poker, Moonshiners, random stupid stuff like that – I definitely can’t get on board with.  I love my husband dearly, but I don’t like his choice of TV shows much.

Just my random thought of the night…

Anyone else out there not a fan of whatever else their spouse watches?  Or is it just me?

It’s the only Bryan Adams song I don’t like.

I have the best friend known to man.  I honestly don’t think anyone else in the world has a best friend like I do.  Thankfully, she is also my sister.  Well, my sister-in-law, she married my brother.  But whatever – she’s my sister.

We are so much alike it’s scary.  We get asked all the time if we are sisters.  I really think it pisses my brother off.  The poor guy.  Everyone comments on how his sister and his wife are exactly the same.  Poor fella.

So today, Best Friend calls me and says she really wants Chili’s for lunch.  I tell her I don’t feel like it.  She says Friend Test.  That means I have to go.  Crap sauce.

So I go, and while we are sitting at the booth, we hear Bryan Adam’s song, Summer of ’69.  All of a sudden I say, “I don’t like this song.”  And she asks why not.  I say, “I don’t know, but it’s the only Bryan Adam’s song I don’t like.”  We both busted out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.  That’s because it was.

If you know us, everything that we do and say creates the biggest laughter in the world.  We can have our own conversation, in plain English mind you, and no one else in the world can understand what we’re talking about because of our language.  We comment on random ass things, we each have our own trains that run through our head, we quote Friends and Cougar Town all the time.  We have our own language, including random things like:  Harsh truth, wine up, pound grape, friend test, Bert, we add sauce to the end of anything; we over exaggerate, we laugh: A LOT.  If anyone could ever read our texts, they’d think we were:

a) crazy

b) funny (if they could figure it out)

c) needing to be institutionalized

Neither one of us are very smart.  Well, book smarts we have, but common sense smart we lack.  And I don’t think it’s always been that way.  But Mommy Brain after 3 kids each has affected us both so much.  It really surprises me how neither one of us falls down more during the day.  I don’t know how we get where we’re going half the time.  She got lost following a line of cars – to her own house.  I asked what “OR” stood for; even though it was just the word ‘or’ in capital letters.  She couldn’t get her key out of  the ignition, only to find out the van was still in drive and not in park.  I lost my key to the van, and found it on my front step outside.  I hide things from my kids and can’t even find them again.  I could keep going, but I eventually need to go to sleep tonight.

I love my best friend because I know no matter what is going on, she will be by my side in heartbeat if I need her.  I wouldn’t even have to say Friend Test, and I know she’d be there.  But thankfully, if I ever need something that she doesn’t want to do, all I have to do is say Friend Test and she has to do it anyway.  That’s what Friend Test is all about: seeing what they’ll do for you even when they don’t want to.  Just like I had to go to lunch today, even though I didn’t want to.  She Friend Tested me.  So I had to go.

We make it a point to talk to each other daily.  We keep in constant contact through endless phone calls and test messages.  We make each other bust out laughing through a text.  Or even through just one word.  Or a look.  My husband gets irritated a lot because it’s texts from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed.  He says we scare him sometimes, and that we’re too much alike it’s scary.  He loves her to death and she loves him to death, and thank God, because not only did he marry me, he married her as well.  My brother stays in Afghanistan for 3/4 of the year, so she’s left without a husband here.  So I make him be her husband too.

I told Best Friend that we need to start a blog of our own adventures together.  It would definitely be comedic.  We once lived together; I don’t know how we ever made it out alive.  We set the microwave on fire.  We never had clean clothes.  You couldn’t walk through our house.  Damn we’ve come such a long way.  I’m so proud of us.  Harsh truth Best Friend: I LOVE YOU!!!!!

I’m an addict.

Well, I’ve done it.  I’ve managed to fall victim to couponing.  I’ve done it.  I can’t stop.  I want more.  And more.  And more.  Now.  I want to go climb in the dumpster right now to find more coupons.  I have “liked” so many pages on Facebook, (some of my favorites: Raining Hot Coupons and The Krazy Coupon Lady) just to constantly get updates on new coupons, and to find where to go to get things free.  And/or seriously cheap.

And it’s not that we need the money and can’t afford our food, toiletries, or other stuff.  My husband makes more than enough of money for us to pay bills and shop and do whatever we want, whenever we want (thanks for all your hard work babe!  Love you!).  It’s just that I got stuff free.  Now I don’t ever want to have to pay for it again.  Why pay for it when you don’t have to?

People keep asking why.  Why do you want to do this?  Why do you care?  Why are you trying to save money, are you having money problems?  And the most important:  Why do you need all this stuff?!?!?!

NO!  No, no, NO!  And BECAUSE!

It’s not that I need it.  It’s that I just got it for FREE.  Yes, free.  You heard me bitch.  FREE.  I didn’t even pay $0.01 for it.  Nope.  Free.  Why on earth would you want to pay for something if you don’t have to?  Doesn’t everyone strive to make money everyday at work?  Why, to pay for things?  And what do they do, bitch and complain about having to make money and how pricey everything has gotten, and how much gas is…blah blah blah.

So let me ask you…if you could get stuff free, wouldn’t you want to as well?  Now do you think I’m so crazy?

 

So yes, out of these receipts, I got 21 Tylenol patches/creams total and 10 Right Guard deodorants.  I paid $3.71 for the first one.  And $6.86 for the second.  So I paid a total of $10.51 for 31 items.

I normally pay $4.49 a piece for the Right Guard deodorants, (it’s what my husband uses).  So this isn’t something that will go to waste.  Oh, and out of 10, 5 of them had free body washes on the back.  But for 10 I would pay around $44.90.  I got 10 for $10.51.  And I got 21 Tylenol products 100% free.  They were on sale at Walgreens for $5.00 a piece.  And I had 20 coupons for $5.00 off.  So 100% free.  FREE.  I know I keep saying that, but when I walked out of there the first time only paying $3.71 for 13 Tylenol products and 2 deodorant, I got a rush.

That’s when it hit me.  That’s when it happened.  I became an addict.

I’m addicted.  I’m done.  I’m set for life.  My high will be scoring free and cheap items.  Big hauls.  I want to do it.  And not because I feel like I want to hoard things.  I don’t want to have so many of one item I’ll never use it.  But when you’re getting things for free, why stop getting them?  When I get too much of something, I’ll donate it.  I’ll give it away.  I’ll find someone that needs it and can’t afford it, when I’m getting it for free.  Why should they have to pay for it, scrounge up money, stress out about something, when I could just give it to them for free?

I won’t over stock.  I won’t get things we won’t use, or things I can’t find a use for, or things I can’t find anyone to give them to.  Someone out there always needs something.  And what better way for people in need to get things than for free?  If I ever get a huge stockpile, I’m giving them to a charity that helps out children who don’t have anything.  And sending some to the troops.  Kids and troops mean a ton to me.  So that is definitely a goal worth working towards I think.  Now does anyone out there question why I’m doing it?  Does anyone out there want to know what the hell I’m going to do with all this stuff?  I bet you’re out there pulling for me now…

So, let me just say…SEND ME YOUR COUPONS!  🙂

Don’t throw them away, it’s like throwing your money right in the trash!  Ahhhh….if you throw away a $1.00 off coupon on something you buy normally, why not clip it and use it to pay $1.00 at the store?  That keeps one of your dollars right in your pocket.  Imagine if you had more than just the $1.00 off how much money you’d save.

Coupons.  Who knew.

Holy Muffin Top :(

I need to go on a diet.  Or start working out.

That’s the first time in my life I’ve ever had to say those two sentences.  Ever.

I was always considered blessed that I could eat whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Well, all I have to say is karma is a bitch.  I know someone out there cursed me to get me here.  Someone had to have said, “Man I just hope that skinny bitch eating all that food gets fat one day.”  Or, “Look at that skinny bitch shoving all that food in her mouth – just wait, it’ll catch up to her.”  Or even, “Please make her fat.  Now.”  So to whoever the hell you were – all I have for you is one finger.  And a big ol’ F bomb to drop.

I canNOT get rid of this baby weight.  With the first two kids, immediately afterwards, I was back to normal, wearing size 0 jeans, eating whatever I wanted.  Not exercising to stay skinny, just naturally blessed as a thin girl.  Not anymore.  It’s my turn to bitch and complain about my weight.  I’ve always had to hear about it, but never had to do it myself.  Now, I am.

So the answer is simple, right?  Work out.  Exercise.  Eat better.

Someone tell me how the f to do that, and I’ll do it.  Give me a schedule.  No, better yet.  Hire me a maid.  And a nanny.  And a personal trainer.  And while you’re at it, have someone follow me around with a fan if I’m hot, or a blanket if I’m cold, but of course, only one that has been kept warm for when I need it to be, like at the hospital.  And make sure everything around me is coated in gold.  Or better yet platinum.  Platinum and diamonds.  Yes, that’s what I want.  Platinum, diamonds, nannies (one for morning and night, per kid), maids (one per person while we’re at it and one for the dog), waiters, servers, ooohhh bartenders…yummmmm….personal bartenders.  And a personal doctor.  Not for the help, just for the medications they can prescribe.  A personal bartender and prescriptions whenever I want?!?!  Hell yeah.  That sounds much better…a little margarita here, shot of tequila there, anti-crazy pill washed down with a beer.   Now THAT sounds like fun.

Wait, am I getting off track?   What the hell was I ranting about?  Oh yeah, my muffin top.  My fat ass and huge thighs.  It’s definitely not ok.  It’s gotta go.  But let me ask: when am I supposed to do all this working out?  When I’m running around with a spoiled ass 6-month-old, who can’t be put down, who takes 20 minute naps?  While I’m trying to get my schoolwork done?  During homework time after school while I’m feeding the baby or trying to keep her from screaming at the top of her lungs while Boy says, “I can’t do my homework when she’s screaming like that!  I can’t concentrate!”  While I’m pushing a vacuum around, holding a baby, trying to shoo the dog away from the vacuum…Or when I’m making dinner for 3 kids and trying to be a referee as well?  It’s like I work in an f’ing circus.  I’m a ring leader.  It’s an open animal barn.  Everyone strap on a helmet and hope for the best.  Make sure you don’t step in dog pee or dog piss along the way.  And who knows what you’re eating.  Just close your eyes and shut up.

I’m thinking the best thing for me is diet pills.  Or prayer.  Or just plain dumb luck.  Or maybe the weight Gods will focus on someone else for awhile…

You’re crazy…crazy about you…no just plain crazy!

“You’re CRAZY!”

I have to laugh.  My husband just yelled that (lovingly – don’t worry!) at me!  I said, “Crazy about you!”  He said, “no, just plain crazy!”

These statements came after I ran and jumped onto the bed, jumped on top of him and squeezed the hell out of him.  Then I started playfully humping his leg like a dog, laughing my ass off to the point I started snorting.  I had tears streaming out of my face.  The funniest thing is, he’s so modest and shy.  And me, well…if you’ve read my other posts, or you know me, I think you pretty much know I’m the exact opposite.  I’m so very not shy.  I will speak my mind; I will hump your leg if I get real excited about something.  That’s just what I do.  Actually, it’s what my best friend and I do…I know she’s out there reading this laughing her ass off right now.  She knows what humping the air or humping a leg is all about.  But she is a whole post for another day…I can’t wait to talk about her!  She is the other love of my life.

Back to the subject of this post…

My husband thinks I’m the weirdest person he knows.  I dance, frolic, and skip around the house a lot when he’s around.  I can’t help it.  Literally, he makes me just ooze happiness.  I’ve never in my life been around someone who makes me as happy as he does.  I can’t even describe it; except to say that he literally drives me crazy (but in a good way!).

I can have the absolute worst day of my life, and be in tears and just wanting to crawl into a ball in our huge comfy bed; but when he gets home from work, it slowly dissolves away.  I can honestly feel the anger and irateness and the helplessness just melt off me.  I feel like it’s so obvious that if you could actually see the feelings, you would see the red oozing out of me onto the floor behind me, just dripping, melting, going away.  Or you would see clouds of red puffing out of me, leaving, and you’d see me once again looking calm, at peace, and most of all, happy.

We got married incredibly quick.  We’ve known each other for years, but we were always just friends.  He said he loved me way before I even knew his name (although I think he’s full of shit and just trying to score some brownie points with me).  I always trusted him, felt safe around him, and felt I could confide in him.  I think we had an amazing bond from the moment we met.  It just never blossomed into anything because I was in a relationship at the time.  But I really felt connected to him in a strange way.  He was safe.  It made me safe.  He made me safe, even when we weren’t together and we were just friends.  He’s my safe house.  He’s my bomb shelter.  He’s my light house.  He’s my kicking post at times – poor guy married a crazy bitch.  But he’s my rock.  He’s my angel.  I really believe he was sent here to save me.  After him, my whole life turned around.  I went from being a train wreck of a person to being the ultimate mother and wife I can be.  He makes me want to strive to be a better person, to make everyone around me happy, to make the world better.  He makes me feel like I could rule the world.

Needless to say, after all he has done for me, for our family, for our life and future together, there is no way I could ever repay him.  He is my soul mate.  I try everyday to make him as happy as he makes me.  I tell him how much I love him all the time.  I thank God for putting him in my life everyday.

And what makes me the happiest:  I get to keep him.  Forever.  And that to me is bliss.  That’s my heaven.

Hubby, if you ever learn how to find my blog, I have something to tell you…

Baby, I love you.  Thank you.